Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-08
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The graph illustrates the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020. The quantity of jobs are given in millions.
In general, the retail and healthcare sectors portray upward growth; while, manufacturing and agriculture sectors describe decreasing growth trend. Increasing sectors show smooth trend; however, decreasing sectors portray irregular trend.
The healthcare sector posses around two million jobs in 1960 which rises to 16 million in 2020, meanwhile, the retail sector reach 16 million jobs in 2020, starting from 6 million in 1960. The manufacturing sector degraded to 13 million opportunities in 2020, initiating at 15 million, additionally, the agriculture sector jobs were 6 million in 1960 which decreased to around 2 million in 2020. The retail and agriculture sectors showed a steady growth. The manufacturing jobs increased smoothly till 1980 and drops onward; while, the agriculture sector decreased heavily till 1980 and drops steadily.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and provides a clear overview of the trends. However, there are some inaccuracies in the data reporting. For instance, you state that the retail and agriculture sectors showed 'steady growth', yet the graph shows agriculture declining significantly. Additionally, the description of the manufacturing sector as 'degraded' is slightly imprecise in this context. While you have identified the main features, the analysis lacks precision in comparing the sectors effectively. To improve, ensure that your data points are accurate and that you distinguish clearly between sectors that are rising and those that are falling.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into three paragraphs, which is a logical structure for a Task 1 response. You use some cohesive devices such as 'meanwhile', 'additionally', and 'while' to connect ideas. However, the flow is occasionally hindered by awkward phrasing and repetitive sentence structures. The transition between the overview and the specific data points is functional but could be smoother. The use of referencing is generally clear, but some sentences feel disconnected due to the mechanical nature of the linking words used. Improving the variety of your cohesive devices would help the progression of your ideas.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You have an adequate range of vocabulary to describe trends, such as 'upward growth', 'decreasing', and 'steady'. However, there are several instances of imprecise word choice, such as 'portray upward growth' (sectors do not portray growth; they experience it) and 'posses' (should be 'possessed'). The word 'degraded' is also not the most appropriate term for a decline in job numbers. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise collocations and ensuring that your verbs accurately reflect the data trends shown in the graph.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors that occur throughout the text, such as 'The quantity of jobs are given' (subject-verb agreement error) and 'manufacturing and agriculture sectors describe decreasing growth trend' (missing article). Additionally, the use of punctuation, particularly the semicolon usage, is sometimes incorrect. While these errors do not prevent the reader from understanding the main points, they are frequent enough to limit the score. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles would significantly improve your accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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