Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-08
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The chart illustrates the comparison among number jobs in different sectors of US economy. from year 1960 to 2020.
Overall, it is crystal clear that in the manufacturing sectors there were the highest number of jobs from beginning to mid years. In the agriculture sector there was decline in number of jobs, whereas both Retail and Healthcare sector showed an upward trend in jobs .
The healthcare sector of US economy showed and rise as in 1960 it was below from every other sector with only about 2 million jobs but in 1980 there was 5 million jobs afterwards in 2000, number of jobs increased to 11 million jobs . In 2020, it achieved its highest number of jobs around 16 million . In agriculture sector there was decline in jobs as in 1960, there was more jobs compared to healthcare sector with 6 million jobs at that time but in 1980 it comes to 4 million jobs and remain constant upto 2000, but in 2020, it drops at about 3 million jobs only.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers the main features of the graph, identifying the trends for the sectors mentioned. However, the task requires reporting on four sectors, but the student only discusses three (Manufacturing, Healthcare, and Agriculture), completely omitting the Retail sector despite mentioning it in the introduction. Furthermore, the data reporting is somewhat selective and lacks a comprehensive comparison between all four sectors. To improve, ensure all categories presented in the prompt are addressed and provide a more balanced overview of the data points across the entire time frame provided.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organised into an introduction, an overview, and a body paragraph. While there is a logical progression, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and limited. For instance, the transition between the overview and the body paragraph is abrupt. Additionally, the paragraphing is unbalanced, with the second body paragraph being quite dense. Using a wider range of linking words (e.g., 'consequently', 'in contrast', 'furthermore') would help the ideas flow more naturally. Referencing is generally clear, but the structure could be more sophisticated to guide the reader through the data more effectively.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks the precision and variety expected at higher bands. There are several instances of awkward phrasing, such as 'from beginning to mid years' and 'below from every other sector'. The student relies on basic descriptors like 'rise', 'decline', and 'increased'. To achieve a higher score, you should incorporate more varied and precise vocabulary related to trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', 'remained stable', or 'experienced a marginal decrease'. Additionally, ensure correct word forms are used, such as 'there were' instead of 'there was' when referring to plural nouns like 'jobs'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and some complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Common issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'there was 5 million jobs'), missing articles (e.g., 'in agriculture sector'), and incorrect preposition usage (e.g., 'drops at about'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with spacing around commas and periods. While the meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of these errors prevents the writing from reaching a higher band. Focusing on basic sentence construction and proofreading for subject-verb agreement would significantly improve the quality of the writing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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