Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-08
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The bar chart illustrates information regarding the number of employments in four sectors of economy namely manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare in the US from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, it is evident that the manufacturing sector provided highest jobs, while agriculture was the lowest, showed a downward trend throughout the period. Meanwhile, retail and healthcare depicted an upward trend.
Looking first at manufacturing, it was the only one sector which provided the highest employment to people in America, from 1960 to 2000, moreover the rate of employment in entire sector was declining in 2020, at below 15 million. Healthcare sector recorded jobs in 1960, at around 2 million, but in next years, the rate of employment increased significantly, between 1980 and 2020, at from 5 to 15 million, it was the greatest growth the other sectors and reached at the pick before surpassing the manufacturing sector.
Furthermore, agriculture and retail, both sectors followed opposite trend, the rate of employment rose in latter sector, while former sector declined, from around 5 to 2 million, reached at the lowest before overtaking to retail in 1980. The employment level of retail sector reached in 2020, at 15 million before surpassing the manufacturing sector, reached on first position in providing jobs.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
You have successfully identified the main trends and provided a clear overview. You covered all four sectors and made relevant comparisons, such as noting the shift in dominance from manufacturing to healthcare and retail. However, the report contains some inaccuracies in data interpretation. For instance, you state that agriculture 'overtook' retail in 1980, which is not supported by the graph, and your description of the manufacturing trend is slightly confusing. To reach a higher band, ensure that your data points are precise and that your comparisons are logically consistent with the visual information provided.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The response is organised into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear progression of ideas. You use some cohesive devices, such as 'Overall', 'Looking first at', and 'Furthermore', which help guide the reader. However, some transitions are mechanical or slightly awkward, such as 'in next years' or 'reached at the pick'. The referencing is occasionally unclear, making it difficult to follow which sector is being compared to which at certain points. Improving the variety and accuracy of your linking words will help the flow of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You have a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey the main features of the graph, using terms like 'downward trend', 'upward trend', and 'surpassing'. However, there are several instances of awkward word choice and collocation errors, such as 'number of employments' (should be 'number of jobs' or 'employment levels'), 'reached at the pick' (should be 'reached a peak'), and 'in entire sector'. These errors occasionally distract the reader. Focusing on collocations and more precise terminology for describing trends will improve your score.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, which is good. However, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with prepositions and articles, such as 'in next years', 'at from 5 to 15 million', and 'reached on first position'. There are also issues with sentence construction, such as comma splices and run-on sentences. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to limit your score. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and correct preposition usage will help you achieve greater accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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