Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-08

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The graph illustrates the information about the number of jobs in four sectors are Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture, Healthcare of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, it is crystal clear that manufacturing had the highest figures, while agriculture had the lowest number of jobs. Most groups showed changes during the period.

In 1960 year, the figure for manufacturing was at 15 million. It was increased rapidly at 20 million in 1980. And dropped gradually approximately 15 million in 2020. Retail was near about 7 million in 1960. After that it was rose dramatically at 15 million in 2000.

Similarly, in 1960 agriculture was around 8 million. It declined significantly about 3 million and remained unchanged at the year of 2000. After that the healthcare was approximately 3 million in 1960. However, it was climb at 5 million in 1980 and went up around 16 million in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends. However, the overview is somewhat simplistic, and the reporting of data is occasionally imprecise. For example, stating that agriculture 'declined significantly about 3 million' is vague, and the description of the healthcare sector's growth could be more analytical. While the main features are highlighted, the response lacks a more sophisticated synthesis of the data, which is required for higher bands. The information is accurate, but the lack of comparative language between the sectors limits the score.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear attempt to use cohesive devices such as 'Overall', 'In 1960', and 'Similarly'. However, the flow is somewhat mechanical, and the transition between sentences feels repetitive. Some referencing is slightly unclear, such as the abrupt shift to the healthcare sector in the final paragraph. The use of cohesive devices is adequate but lacks the flexibility and variety expected at higher levels. Improving the variety of linking words would enhance the overall progression of the response.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The range of vocabulary is adequate for the task but remains quite basic. Phrases like 'highest figures', 'lowest number', and 'went up' are functional but repetitive. There are some minor inaccuracies in word choice, such as 'In 1960 year' (should be 'In 1960') and 'it was rose' (should be 'it rose'). To achieve a higher band, you should incorporate more precise vocabulary related to trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', or 'surpassed', and avoid repetitive sentence structures.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response contains a mix of simple and some complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the flow, such as 'It was increased rapidly at 20 million' (passive voice error) and 'it was climb at 5 million' (incorrect verb form). Punctuation is generally acceptable, but the misuse of verb tenses and prepositions is noticeable throughout. While the meaning is usually clear, the frequency of these errors prevents the response from reaching a higher band. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and correct tense usage is essential.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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