Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-08
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
This graph illustrate about the number of jobs in four sectors of economy in the us
Overall; This graph shows the increases and decreases in the number of jobs in different sectors of economy in US number of jobs in the sector of manufacturing and agriculture gradually decreases and number of jobs in retail and healthcare sector initially increases.
The number of jobs in the sector of manufacturing
increases from 15 million to 20 million in 1990 but it decreases from 20 to 16 million in 2000 and further decreases below 15 million.
The number of jobs in retail sector increases from 6 million towards 10 million in 1990 and in 2000 it increases towards 15 million and ends up to 16 million in 2020
On the other hand number of jobs in agriculture sector decreases from 6 million to 3 million in 1990 and remains same in 2000 but decreases from 3 million to 2 million in 2020
The number of jobs in healthcare sectors increases from 2 million to 5 million in 1990 and further increases towards 15 million in 2000 and ends up with 16 million in 2020
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and provides data points to support the description. However, the overview is weak; it lacks a clear summary of the most significant trends, such as the overall growth in service-related jobs versus the decline in primary/secondary sectors. The reporting of data is sometimes inaccurate or confusing, such as the claim that manufacturing increased to 20 million in 1990, which is not clearly supported by the visual trend. To improve, ensure the overview highlights the 'big picture' rather than just listing sector movements, and verify that data points are accurately extracted from the graph.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay lacks proper paragraphing, which makes it difficult to follow the logical progression of ideas. While there is an attempt at an introduction and a summary, the body of the text is a series of disjointed sentences rather than cohesive paragraphs. Cohesive devices are minimal and often repetitive (e.g., 'increases', 'decreases'). To improve, group related information into distinct paragraphs—for example, one for sectors that grew and one for those that declined—and use a wider variety of linking words like 'conversely', 'subsequently', or 'in contrast' to connect ideas more fluidly.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is quite limited and repetitive. The student relies heavily on basic verbs like 'increases' and 'decreases' throughout the response. There are also issues with article usage (e.g., 'in the sector of economy in the us') and missing prepositions. To reach a higher band, you should incorporate more precise vocabulary for describing trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', 'remained stable', or 'experienced a downward trend'. Additionally, ensure you use articles correctly when referring to specific sectors or countries.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The writing contains frequent grammatical errors, particularly regarding subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'This graph illustrate', 'number of jobs... decreases') and article usage. Sentence structures are largely simple, and there is a lack of complex sentence forms. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with some sentences lacking full stops or using semicolons incorrectly. To improve, focus on mastering basic subject-verb agreement and try to combine simple sentences using relative clauses or subordinating conjunctions to demonstrate a wider range of grammatical control.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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