Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-08

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The linear representation gives information about the count of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US from 1960 to 2020.

Overall it is quite obvious that the highest number of jobs were retail and healthcare and the lowest job was agriculture during the period.

Now turning to the details, In 1960, people selected healthcare job in the US around 3 million. However , in 1980 they were continuously increased and reached on 16 million. In agriculture only 6 million individual prefer this job in the first year. After that , in 1990 and 2000 the number of agriculture job almost stable on 4 million. In the last year , only 2 million people interested in agriculture.

Moving towards further description, only 15 million people liked manufacturing job in 1960. In 1980 , manufacturing job was increased at 20 million . Between 2000 and 2020 they were started decreased at 16 million and 13 million. In US individual participated in retail job approximately 6 million . Whereas, in next year the retail job was increased 10 million. In 2020 the retail job reached on 16 million.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response covers all four sectors and provides a clear overview. However, the data reporting is inconsistent and contains inaccuracies. For instance, you state that agriculture was the 'lowest job' throughout the period, but the graph shows manufacturing dropping below agriculture by 2020. Additionally, the description of trends is sometimes confusing, such as stating that healthcare 'reached on 16 million' in 1980, which does not align with the visual data. To improve, ensure that your data points are precise and that your comparisons accurately reflect the trends shown in the graph rather than making broad generalizations that contradict the visual evidence.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate. Phrases like 'Now turning to the details' and 'Moving towards further description' are somewhat repetitive and clunky. Furthermore, the transition between sentences is sometimes abrupt, making the flow feel disjointed. To achieve a higher score, try to use a wider variety of linking words and ensure that your referencing (e.g., 'they', 'this') clearly points back to the intended noun to avoid ambiguity.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and variety required for a higher band. You rely heavily on basic verbs like 'selected', 'liked', and 'increased'. There is also some awkward phrasing, such as 'reached on 16 million' and 'individual participated in retail job'. To improve, focus on using more academic collocations and precise terminology for describing trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', or 'experienced a downward trend'. Expanding your range of vocabulary will help you convey information more professionally.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Common issues include incorrect preposition usage (e.g., 'reached on'), subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'they were started decreased'), and missing articles. While the meaning is generally understandable, these recurring errors prevent the writing from being considered fluent. Focusing on basic sentence construction and proofreading for subject-verb agreement and correct prepositional phrases will significantly improve the accuracy of your writing.

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