Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-08
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph depicts Changes in jobs from four different sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020. The data has been calibrated in millions.
Overall, it is clear that healthcare showed an upward trend, while agriculture experienced a decline. In addition, retail and healthcare recorded the highest figure at the end of period.
It is evident that, a drastic rise can be noticed for healthcare over the period from 1960 to 2020 from 2 million to 16 million,whereas agriculture dropped down between 1960 and 1980 which than showed fluctuations. Moreover, manufacturing climbed from 15 million to 20 million,which decreased dramatically from the period 1980 to 2020. Apart from this, retail went at peak between 1960 and 2000 but than showed little progress.
Another interesting fact is that, manufacturing can be seen at 15 million and 20 million, respectively.
To add, similarity can be noticed for retail and healthcare in the period 2020 at 16 million. Beside this, healthcare is more than that of manufacturing which is against 16 million and 13 million in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers the main features of the graph, including the overall trends and key data points. However, the analysis is somewhat inconsistent. For instance, the statement that retail and healthcare reached the same figure in 2020 is contradicted by the later claim that healthcare was 16 million and manufacturing was 13 million. Furthermore, the description of the manufacturing trend is confusing, as it mentions a climb to 20 million followed by a dramatic decrease, which is not clearly supported by the data provided. While the main trends are identified, the lack of precision in reporting figures and the contradictory information limit the effectiveness of the summary.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate. Phrases like 'To add' and 'Beside this' are used awkwardly. Additionally, the logical flow is disrupted by contradictory statements, such as the confusion regarding the final figures for the sectors in 2020. The referencing is sometimes unclear, making it difficult to track which sector is being discussed in the final paragraph. Improving the use of linking words and ensuring that the information presented is consistent would significantly enhance the coherence of the response.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing the writer to describe trends (e.g., 'upward trend', 'decline', 'fluctuations', 'drastic rise'). However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'retail went at peak' instead of 'reached a peak' and 'than showed' instead of 'then showed'. The range of vocabulary is somewhat limited, and there is a reliance on basic descriptive terms. To reach a higher band, the student should incorporate more precise academic vocabulary and ensure correct collocations when describing statistical changes.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors. Punctuation is often incorrect, particularly with comma placement (e.g., '1960 to 2020 from 2 million to 16 million,whereas'). There are also issues with subject-verb agreement and tense consistency, such as 'which than showed' and 'retail went at peak'. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to be noticeable. A greater focus on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy and sentence structure would be beneficial.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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