Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-08
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The presented graph illustrates the number of employment in four different fields of the economy in the US from 1960 to 2020.
Looking from an overall perspective, it is readily apparent that the manufacturing sector was the highest factor of jobs in the given time period while agriculture sector provided the least employment.
Turning towards the details,in the initial year,the jobs in manufacturing sector accounted for 15 millions,reaching a peak of 20 millions in 1980 and then experienced a steep drop in the remaining two decades.Along side this,in 1960,the number of jobs through retail sector stood at just above 5 millions, from the following year,the propotion of employment dramatically surged to 15 millions.
moving further,the number of jobs in agricultural field were nearly 5 millions in the initial year however, the job rate plunged steadily and reached at almost 3 millions in the final year.Furthermore,the employment in healthcare sector was the lowest in 1960,3 millions.Moreover,the jobs in medicine were skyrocketed and reached at 15 millions in the last year,2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response covers all four sectors and provides a clear overview. However, there are inaccuracies in the data reporting. For instance, you state the manufacturing sector was the 'highest factor' throughout the period, but the graph shows retail and healthcare overtaking it by 2020. Additionally, describing the retail sector as surging 'from the following year' is imprecise given the data points provided. To reach a higher band, ensure that your summary of trends is factually aligned with the visual data and that you highlight the most significant changes rather than just listing figures.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear progression of ideas. You use some cohesive devices like 'Turning towards the details' and 'Furthermore' to link your points. However, the use of punctuation is inconsistent, particularly with spacing after commas (e.g., 'details,in', 'year,the'), which makes the flow feel mechanical. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of linking words and ensure that your paragraphing is used to separate distinct trends or time periods more effectively.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
You have a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey the main features of the graph, using terms like 'surged', 'plunged', and 'skyrocketed'. However, there are some awkward collocations and word choices, such as 'highest factor of jobs' instead of 'largest employer' or 'highest number of jobs'. There are also minor errors in word form, such as 'propotion' (spelling) and 'medicine' when referring to the healthcare sector. Expanding your range of topic-specific vocabulary and ensuring accurate spelling will help you achieve a higher score.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you attempt to use complex sentences, there are frequent errors in grammar and punctuation, such as 'the number of jobs in agricultural field were' (subject-verb agreement) and 'reached at almost 3 millions' (incorrect preposition and pluralization of million). These errors are noticeable but do not prevent the reader from understanding the overall message. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of prepositions with verbs like 'reach'.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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