Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-08

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph illustrates the data of employment within four different departments in terms of their contribution to the economy of America over the given period of time.

Overall, the sector of manufacturing remained highest in providing jobs till 2000 while proportion of jobs in agriculture was similar to retail in 1960 but fell to about 1% by 2020 which was equivalent to percentage of jobs in healthcare in 1960.

In 1960, percentage of employment in manufacturing sector was 15% which was climbed to 20% by 1980. That was dropped to approximately 13% in 2020. The proportion of creating work opportunities in departments of retail and healthcare was shorter 6% and 2%, respectively. Reaches to 10% and 5% by 1980 and rose more than 15% in 2020. While the least number of jobs contributed in the economy of US by agriculture department that was about 65 in the beginning of the period but fell to 3% by 1980 and remained stable till 2002 and shows a further declined which leads the proportion to about 1% by 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

You have successfully identified the main trends and provided a clear overview. You covered all four sectors and made relevant comparisons, such as noting the convergence of agriculture and healthcare in 1960. However, there are some inaccuracies in data reporting; for instance, you state agriculture started at '65', which is not supported by the graph, and your description of the manufacturing peak is slightly imprecise. To improve, ensure you double-check the data points against the axes before writing. The overview is well-placed, but ensure the data selected for the body paragraphs is consistently accurate to reach a higher band.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The response is logically organized into an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs. You use some cohesive devices like 'while', 'respectively', and 'in the beginning of the period'. However, the flow is occasionally hindered by awkward phrasing and mechanical transitions. For example, the transition between the overview and the body paragraphs could be smoother. Additionally, the referencing is sometimes unclear, such as in the sentence 'That was dropped to approximately 13%', where the antecedent is slightly ambiguous. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring clear pronoun reference will enhance the coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You have an adequate range of vocabulary to convey the main points, using terms like 'proportion', 'contribution', and 'remained stable'. However, there are several instances of imprecise word choice and collocation errors, such as 'percentage of creating work opportunities' and 'shows a further declined'. These errors do not impede communication, but they do limit the precision of your report. To move to a higher band, focus on using more natural collocations and ensuring that word forms (e.g., 'decline' vs 'declined') are used correctly in context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you attempt complex sentences, there are frequent grammatical errors, such as 'which was climbed to 20%' (passive voice error) and 'the least number of jobs contributed in the economy... that was about 65' (subject-verb agreement and preposition issues). Punctuation is generally functional, but some sentences are clunky. To improve, focus on mastering the passive voice and ensuring consistent tense usage when describing historical data. Reducing these frequent errors will significantly improve the clarity and professional tone of your writing.

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