Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-08
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The graph illustrates the information regarding the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the USA from 1960 to 2020.
Overview, there are four jobs in the graph which are manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare. Healthcare and retail had a great increased between 1960 and 2020. Manufacturing increased but have a slight decrease between 2000 and 2020. Agriculture decreased but remain constant from 1980 to 2020.
In 1960 the healthcare jobs was at approximately 2.5 millions but it start growing and touched 16 millions in 2020. Retail also rises and cross 15 millions in 2020 but it was at 6 millions in 1960 as compared to the healthcare.
In 1960 manufacturing was at the highest position of 15 millions. It start gradually increasing and reached at 20 millions in 20 years. However, it start falling and reached at almost 17.5 millions in 2020. The fourth one is agriculture and it was at 6 millions in 1960. Although it start decreasing and hit 3 millions in 1980. Conversely, it remains stable for 20 years. Despite this, it has a slight decrease again between 2000 and 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and identifies key trends. However, the overview is weak; it merely lists the sectors rather than highlighting the most significant trends, such as the dramatic growth in healthcare and retail versus the decline in agriculture. The data reporting is generally accurate, but there are some inaccuracies in the description of trends, such as stating agriculture remained constant from 1980 to 2020 when the graph shows a decline. The summary of the main features is present but lacks the analytical depth required for a higher band score.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the information. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and repetitive (e.g., 'In 1960', 'The fourth one is'). The transition between sentences is sometimes abrupt, and the overview paragraph is poorly integrated, starting with 'Overview,' which is not a natural way to introduce a summary. While the progression of ideas is logical, the lack of varied linking words and occasional awkward phrasing limits the flow of the text.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks variety and precision. There is a reliance on basic verbs like 'increased', 'decreased', and 'start' (often used incorrectly as 'start growing' or 'start falling'). There are also some errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'great increased' instead of 'great increase' and 'at the highest position of' instead of 'at a peak of'. To improve, you should incorporate more sophisticated reporting verbs and nouns to describe trends, such as 'surged', 'plummeted', or 'a significant upward trend'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally distract the reader. Common issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'healthcare jobs was', 'it start growing'), tense inconsistencies (e.g., 'it start falling' instead of 'it started falling'), and pluralisation errors (e.g., '2.5 millions'). While the meaning is generally clear, these persistent errors in basic grammar prevent the essay from reaching a higher band. Focusing on consistent tense usage and correct plural forms would significantly improve the quality of the writing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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