Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-08
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph tracks a time period from 1960 to 2020 and the number of jobs of four sectors in US, according to the graph, the jobs are kept on y axis while years are kept on x axis. there are 4 sectors discussed which are represented by different lines.
First of all, the manufacturing jobs were around 15 million in 1960 and reaching up to 20 milion in 1980, futhermore it was reduced from 20 million in 2000 to 2020 as compared to this the retail jobs were only above 5 million in 1960, nevertheless jobs were increased in 1980 to 10 million and kept improving afterwards, in 2000 and 2020 around 15 million. The third sector is agriculture which kept on raising from 2 million in 1960 to 5 million in 1980 and kept getting higher to 15 million in 2020 and around 10 million in 2000. The last one is healthcare which relatively kept on decreasing from around 5 million 1960 to around 4 millions in 1980 and then downwards in later years.
Overall, the graph compares the 4 sectors around the years and given that agriculture jobs kept on increasing while healthcare and retail jobs kept on decreasing and having variations in manufcutring jobs.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response covers all four sectors, but the data reporting is inaccurate. For example, you state that agriculture increased to 15 million by 2020, which contradicts the visual data provided. Additionally, the description of healthcare is incorrect, as the graph shows it as the sector with the most significant growth, not a decrease. While you identify main features, the lack of factual accuracy regarding the trends significantly impacts the task achievement. To improve, ensure you carefully cross-reference your written summary with the actual data points on the graph to avoid misinterpreting the trends.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into an introduction, body paragraphs, and an overview, which provides a basic structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is mechanical and sometimes misused, such as 'nevertheless' and 'furthermore', which do not always logically connect the ideas. The progression of information is somewhat disjointed, particularly within the body paragraphs where data points are listed without clear comparative language. Improving the use of linking words and ensuring each paragraph has a clear focus would enhance the flow of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
Your vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision required for higher bands. You rely on simple verbs like 'kept on raising', 'kept on decreasing', and 'improved'. There are also minor errors in word choice and spelling, such as 'milion' and 'manufcutring'. To reach a higher band, you should incorporate more sophisticated vocabulary related to data description, such as 'fluctuated', 'witnessed a steady decline', or 'experienced a sharp surge', and ensure accurate spelling throughout your response.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors. Issues include incorrect preposition usage ('on y axis'), missing articles, and subject-verb agreement errors (e.g., 'jobs are kept on y axis'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with several run-on sentences that lack proper full stops. While the meaning is generally clear, these persistent errors in basic grammar and sentence construction limit the score. Focusing on sentence boundaries and subject-verb agreement will help improve your accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.