Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-08

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The following line graph provides data on the jobs in four sectors of US economy: manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare over the years 1960 to 2020.

Overall, it indicates a surge in the job market in healthcare department over time while in other sectors it is marked by fluctuation in market dynamics with a pronounced decrease in manufacturing jobs.

In 1960, manufacturing has the most share of the job market comprising about 15 millions while the cross-pounding figures shows about 2 millions share to healthcare and about 5.5 millions share to both agriculture and retail. In 1980, the jobs in manufacturing reached its peak sharing about 20 millions showcasing their enduring popularity before markedly decreasing in 2020 by 10 millions.

The jobs in healthcare rose steadily in years 1980 and 2000 before peaking at 15.2 million in 2020 corresponding to retail department that outset from 5.2 millions and increases steadily to reach at 15.2 millions jobs in 2020.

The conspicuous feature is the declining of jobs in agriculture department which outset from 5.2 millions in 1960 falling to about 2 millions in 1980 and and steadily reaching 1 millions in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

You have successfully identified the main trends and provided a clear overview of the data. You covered all four sectors and made relevant comparisons, such as noting the peak in manufacturing and the steady rise in healthcare. However, there are some inaccuracies in the data reporting; for instance, you mentioned manufacturing reached 20 million in 1980, but the graph shows it closer to 25 million. Additionally, the statement that manufacturing decreased by 10 million by 2020 is slightly imprecise based on the visual data. To improve, ensure that your data points are read as accurately as possible from the graph to support your analysis.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, overview, and body paragraphs that group the sectors effectively. You use some cohesive devices, such as 'Overall' and 'In 1960', to guide the reader. However, some transitions are a bit mechanical, and there are minor issues with referencing, such as 'corresponding to retail department that outset from 5.2 millions'. The flow between sentences could be improved by using a wider variety of linking phrases to connect the trends more fluidly. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the different sectors, which helps the reader follow your argument.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'surge', 'fluctuation', 'pronounced decrease', and 'conspicuous feature'. However, there are several word-choice errors and awkward collocations, such as 'cross-pounding figures', 'outset from', and 'healthcare department'. These errors do not impede communication, but they do limit the precision of your writing. To reach a higher band, focus on using more natural collocations and avoiding non-standard phrasing. Expanding your repertoire of reporting verbs and adjectives would also help to make your descriptions more sophisticated and precise.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, which is appropriate for this task. However, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'manufacturing has the most share', 'figures shows') and pluralization (e.g., '15 millions', '1 millions'). There are also some awkward phrasings and punctuation issues, such as the double 'and' in the final paragraph. While these errors do not prevent the reader from understanding your main points, they occur frequently enough to impact the overall fluency of the text. Focusing on basic subject-verb agreement and plural rules will significantly improve your accuracy.

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