Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-09
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The graph illustrate number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the us namely,Manfacturing,Retail,Agriculture and Healthcare from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, Manufacturing and Agriculture experienced a long-term decline in jobs,while Retail and Healthcare slightly increase over the period.
In 1960,Manufacturing was the highest figure among the four sectors, with approximately 15 million jobs and peaked it at around 20 million in 1980,after it decreased to 13 million by 2020.In addition, agriculture began with about 6 million jobs in 1960 and fell sharply reached at 2 million by 2020.
Healthcare started with around 2 million in 1960 but it growth with approximately 16 million in job in 2000,which is the second largest figure as campared to Manufacturing.In contrast,retail recorded for 16 million in job by 2020.
In 1960,Retail started with approximately 5 million and after it significantly jumped into the level of 16 million of the economy in the us.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and provides a clear overview of the trends. However, the data reporting is inconsistent and contains inaccuracies. For instance, you state that Manufacturing peaked at 20 million in 1980, but the graph shows the peak occurred earlier. Furthermore, the description of the Retail sector is fragmented across two separate paragraphs, which disrupts the logical flow of data comparison. While the main features are identified, the lack of precision in reporting figures and the disjointed structure prevent a higher score. To improve, ensure that data points are accurately transcribed and that each sector is discussed in a cohesive manner.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which is a positive step. However, the progression of ideas is hindered by the repetitive and disjointed treatment of the Retail sector. You introduce Retail in the fourth paragraph, then return to it in the fifth, which makes the report feel mechanical and poorly planned. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'In addition' and 'In contrast', but they are sometimes applied awkwardly. The referencing is occasionally unclear, and the overall logical flow is interrupted by the way the information is grouped. Better planning would allow you to group sectors by their trends (e.g., declining vs. increasing) to create a more coherent response.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the precision required for a higher band. You rely on basic verbs like 'increase', 'fell', and 'jumped'. There are also some awkward collocations and word choices, such as 'it growth with' instead of 'it grew to' and 'recorded for 16 million in job'. These errors do not necessarily impede communication, but they demonstrate a limited range of lexical control. To improve, focus on using more sophisticated reporting verbs and nouns, such as 'witnessed a steady climb' or 'experienced a significant contraction', and ensure correct prepositional usage when describing numerical data.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, including subject-verb agreement issues ('The graph illustrate', 'Manufacturing... peaked it') and article misuse ('in the us'). Sentence structures are mostly simple, and attempts at more complex sentences often contain errors, such as 'which is the second largest figure as campared to Manufacturing'. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with missing spaces after commas and periods. While the meaning is generally clear, the high frequency of errors in basic grammar and sentence construction limits the score. Focusing on proofreading for subject-verb agreement and basic sentence structure will significantly improve your accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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