Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-09
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
he given line graph compares the number of emloyement in different sectors such as; manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare of economy in the US for over 60 years.
Overall, graph illustrates healthcare and retail jobs rose considerably meanwhile manufacturing and agriculture fell down in economic sectors. In the US two jobs were expanding slightly however other two were dramatically decline.
In 1960, just under 5 milliions were involved in healthcare which increased continuously in the following year and remained stable at over 15% in 2020. By contrast, well over 5 millions did agricultural works in 1960 that decreased drastically in upcoming period.
At the beginning of the year, over 15millions were in the manufacturing sectors which dramatically increased and just touched 20 millions in 1980. However it started to fell down roughly and reached under 15 millions. On the other hand, around 6 millions were involved in retail jobs which grow steadily between 2000 and remained constant at nearly 16 millions in 2020. Finally, graph elucidate that retail and healthcare jobs were the main source of economy in the US.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends. However, the data reporting is inconsistent and occasionally inaccurate. For example, you state that healthcare 'remained stable at over 15%' in 2020, but the graph shows it reaching 15 million, not 15%. Additionally, the statement that manufacturing 'just touched 20 millions in 1980' is a clear misreading of the data, which shows it peaking closer to 25 million. While you attempt to provide an overview, the lack of precision in data interpretation prevents a higher score. To improve, ensure that figures are read accurately from the axes and that units (millions vs percentages) are used correctly.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. You use some cohesive devices such as 'In 1960', 'By contrast', and 'However' to link ideas. However, the flow is occasionally disrupted by awkward phrasing, such as 'At the beginning of the year' (which is not appropriate for a timeline) and 'Finally, graph elucidate'. The referencing is sometimes unclear, and the transition between sentences can feel mechanical. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear thematic focus would enhance the overall coherence.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'considerably', 'drastically', and 'steadily'. However, there are several spelling errors ('emloyement', 'milliions') and word choice issues, such as 'fell down' instead of 'declined' and 'grow' instead of 'grew'. The phrase 'main source of economy' is also imprecise. While the vocabulary is sufficient to convey the main points, the errors and limited range of more sophisticated, topic-specific collocations keep the score in the mid-range. Focus on proofreading for spelling and learning more formal synonyms for describing trends.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are frequent grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues ('retail jobs which grow steadily') and incorrect verb forms ('started to fell down'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with the use of semicolons and commas. While the meaning is generally clear, these persistent errors in basic grammar and sentence construction limit the score. To improve, focus on mastering subject-verb agreement and ensuring that verb tenses are used consistently when describing past trends.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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