Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-09

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph illustrates changes in the number of jobs in four sectors of the us economy, namely manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare, between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, manufacturing was the largest source of employment at the beginning of the period, but its figure declined considerably after reaching a peak in 1980. in contrast, employment in retail and healthcare increased substantially. agriculture was the only sector to experience a continuous decline after 1960.

In 1960, manufacturing accounted for approximately 15 million jobs, making it the largest employment sector. This figure then rose to a peak of around 20 million in 1980 and approximately 14 million in 2000. by 2020, it had risen to about 15 million jobs, overtaking manufacturing.

Healthcare showed most significant growth over the period. starting only about 2 million jobs in 1960, employment increased to approximately 4.5 million in 1980, before climbing sharply to 10 million in 2000 and 15 million in 2020. agriculture followed the opposite trend. its employment level fell from around 6 million in 1960 to about 3 million in 1980, then declined further to roughly 2 million in 2000 and just 1 million by 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

You have successfully identified the main trends and provided a clear overview of the data. You covered all four sectors and made relevant comparisons, such as noting that manufacturing was the largest sector initially while healthcare grew significantly. However, there is a factual error in your third paragraph: you state that by 2020, the manufacturing figure had risen to 15 million, 'overtaking manufacturing.' This is confusing and inaccurate as it refers to the same sector. Additionally, the retail sector is mentioned in the introduction but is not discussed in the body paragraphs, which is a significant omission for a complete task response.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The response is logically organized with a clear introduction, overview, and body paragraphs. You use some cohesive devices effectively, such as 'In contrast' and 'before climbing sharply.' However, the paragraphing is slightly inconsistent, and the transition between the overview and the body paragraphs could be smoother. The referencing is generally clear, but the lack of information regarding the retail sector makes the overall progression feel incomplete. The use of linking words is functional, but could be more varied to improve the flow between sentences.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'considerably,' 'substantially,' and 'continuous decline' to describe trends. There are some minor issues with word choice and precision, such as the confusion in the third paragraph regarding the manufacturing sector. You also missed an opportunity to discuss the retail sector, which limited your ability to demonstrate a wider range of vocabulary related to that specific data. Overall, the vocabulary is sufficient to convey your meaning clearly, but it lacks the sophistication required for a higher band score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, which is appropriate for this task. There are several punctuation and capitalization errors, such as starting sentences with lowercase letters ('in contrast,' 'by 2020,' 'starting only'). These are frequent enough to be noticeable. While your grammar is generally accurate and does not impede communication, the lack of attention to basic mechanics like capitalization and sentence-initial punctuation prevents a higher score. You show control over verb tenses, which helps maintain the clarity of the chronological report.

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