Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-09

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The line chart illustrates the proportion of jobs in different sectors of the economy in the us between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, it can be seen that the manufacturing sector recorded the highest value in the initial year, while the retail and healthcare sectors rose significantly towards the end of the period.

To commence with, there were 15 million jobs in the manufacturing sector in 1960, while this figure rose to 20 million after two decades before declining gradually to nearly 14 million in 2020.

Thereafter, the retail sector accounted for nearly 6 million jobs in the initial year, while this figure increased to 10 million in 1980 before rising further to above 15 million at the end of the period.

Furthermore, healthcare jobs experienced a pronounced increase, beginning at nearly 3 million jobs and reaching 5 million in 1980, before culminating at nearly 16 million jobs.

Afterward, agricultural jobs declined gradually from nearly 6 million in 1960 to 3 million in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response successfully covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends over the 60-year period. You have effectively highlighted the contrast between the declining sectors (manufacturing and agriculture) and the growing ones (retail and healthcare). The overview is clear and provides a good summary of the data. To reach a higher band, ensure that you make more explicit comparisons between the sectors rather than just describing them sequentially. For example, noting that healthcare overtook agriculture or comparing the final figures of the retail and manufacturing sectors would strengthen the analytical aspect of your response.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, overview, and body paragraphs for each sector. The use of cohesive devices such as 'To commence with', 'Thereafter', 'Furthermore', and 'Afterward' helps guide the reader through the data. However, the transition between paragraphs is somewhat mechanical. The structure is clear, but the flow could be improved by grouping the sectors by their trends (e.g., those that increased vs. those that decreased) rather than listing them one by one, which would create a more cohesive narrative.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey the information clearly. Phrases like 'pronounced increase', 'culminating at', and 'declining gradually' are used appropriately. There are no significant errors in word choice that impede communication. To improve, try to incorporate more precise academic collocations or synonyms to avoid repetition of the word 'jobs' and 'figure'. Using terms like 'workforce', 'employment levels', or 'positions' would add variety and sophistication to your writing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures effectively. Most sentences are error-free, and your control over tense usage (past simple for historical data) is consistent. Punctuation is generally accurate. While the grammar is solid, the range of complex structures is somewhat limited. Incorporating more varied subordinate clauses or passive voice constructions (e.g., 'It is observed that...') would demonstrate a wider grammatical range, which is necessary to move into the higher band scores.

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