Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-09
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The graph reveals the statistics that number of work in four area of the trade in US between 1960 and 2020.
Overall,the supplied number of employment in manufacturing increased initially and then decreased,whereas the healthcare and retail increased.On the otherhand,agriculture declined throught the period.By 2020,healthcare had the highest number of jobs provided.
First of all,manufacturing had the highest number of jobs 15 million in 1960 and 20 million in 1980.This feagure 5 million increased in 20 year.On the other hand,retail number of work 6 millions in 1960 and 10 million in 1980.This feagure increased 5 million in 5 years.
Second of all,agriculture had the lowest number of jobs in 7 years.3 million of job provided in 1960 and then 5 million supplied in 1980.This feagure increased 5 million in 20 year.And the last,healthcare number of work 6 million in 1960 and then 3 million in 1980.This feagure decreased in 20 year.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response attempts to summarise the main features of the graph, but the information provided is often inaccurate or contradictory. For example, you state that manufacturing increased to 20 million in 1980, but the data description is inconsistent with the visual trends. Furthermore, the analysis of the sectors is confusing; you mention agriculture had the lowest number of jobs in '7 years,' which is not a relevant time frame for this graph. The overview is present but lacks clarity. To improve, ensure you carefully read the axes and data points before writing, and focus on identifying clear trends (e.g., steady growth vs. sharp decline) rather than listing isolated, potentially incorrect figures.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is mechanical and sometimes inappropriate, such as 'First of all' and 'Second of all,' which are better suited for discursive essays than data reports. The logical progression is hindered by the inaccurate data reporting, making it difficult to follow the development of the trends. Referencing is also unclear at times, particularly when discussing the figures. Using a wider variety of linking words like 'in contrast,' 'subsequently,' or 'while' would improve the flow and coherence of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is quite limited and repetitive. You frequently use the word 'feagure' (a misspelling of 'figure') and 'number of work,' which is not a natural collocation. The range of vocabulary is insufficient to describe trends effectively; for instance, instead of saying 'increased' or 'decreased' repeatedly, you could use more precise verbs like 'fluctuated,' 'peaked,' or 'plummeted.' There are also several spelling errors, such as 'feagure' and 'throught,' which detract from the overall quality of the response. Expanding your range of topic-specific vocabulary is essential for a higher band score.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response relies heavily on simple sentence structures. There are frequent grammatical errors, including missing articles ('in US'), incorrect prepositions ('in 20 year' instead of 'over 20 years'), and subject-verb agreement issues ('number of work... increased'). While the meaning is generally understandable, the high frequency of errors in basic grammar and punctuation limits the clarity of your report. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction and ensuring that your verb tenses are consistent when describing past data. Attempting more complex sentence structures without first securing basic accuracy often leads to further errors.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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