Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-09
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The given line graph Illustrates, Data on the number of jobs in different sector of the economy of the US between 1960 and 2020.
The overall trend shows, In 1960 there was more numbers of jobs in manufacturing sector. While Healthcare has the lowest number of jobs.
The graph displays jobs in millions in 4 different sector. Here It seems manufacturing has a greatest number of jobs. Whereas, Health care has smallest in 1960. The graph shows manufacturing rose sharply to 20 million and starts to decline and stops at around 13 million in 2020. However, number of job in health care rose rapidly from 1960 to 2020. It rose from 2 to 5 and 5 to 11 again from 11 to 16.
There is two more industries i.e retail and agricultural. Graph shows retail is increasing the number of job in US . While Number of jobs in Agriculture was falling.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response covers the main features of the graph, identifying the four sectors and their general trends. However, the analysis is somewhat superficial and lacks precision. For instance, the description of the healthcare sector's growth is repetitive and lacks a clear synthesis of the data points. While the main trends are identified, the comparison between sectors is underdeveloped. The response would benefit from a more analytical approach, grouping the sectors by their performance (e.g., those that grew versus those that declined) rather than listing them individually. The overview is present but could be more effectively integrated to highlight the most significant changes over the 60-year period.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is mechanical and sometimes inaccurate. For example, the transition 'However, number of job in health care' is abrupt, and the use of 'i.e.' is inappropriate for this context. The progression of ideas within paragraphs is occasionally disjointed, particularly in the third paragraph where the data points are listed in a fragmented manner. While there is an attempt to use linking words, the overall flow is hindered by the lack of sophisticated transitions and clear logical connections between the sentences.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is adequate for the task but remains quite basic and repetitive. Phrases like 'greatest number of jobs' and 'smallest' are used, but there is little attempt to use more precise academic vocabulary related to trends (e.g., 'fluctuated', 'peaked', 'remained stable', 'gradual increase'). There are also some minor errors in word choice, such as 'different sector' instead of 'different sectors'. To improve, you should incorporate a wider range of synonyms and collocations relevant to describing statistical data, which would allow for more precise and varied reporting of the graph's information.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains a mix of simple and some attempted complex structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors. Issues include subject-verb agreement ('There is two more industries'), article usage ('in manufacturing sector'), and missing pluralization ('number of job'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with unnecessary capitalization (e.g., 'Illustrates', 'Data') and awkward phrasing. While the meaning is generally clear, these persistent errors in basic grammar and sentence construction limit the score. Focusing on sentence structure, ensuring correct verb forms, and proofreading for basic punctuation and capitalization would significantly improve the clarity and accuracy of your writing.
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