Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-09

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The graphs provides number of jobs of US economy in the US between 1960 and 2020. The data have four sectors, manufacturing, retail, agriculture, and healthcare.

Overall, the highest number of jobs are retail and healthcare in the latest year and the lowest is agriculture. Whereas, manufacturing had the highest number of jobs from 1960 to 2000 then it gradually decreased in 2020.

Firstly, healthcare had the lowest number of jobs in 1960 and coming up to 2020, it's the highest number. The agriculture and retail had the same number in the 1960 but it came to the opposite where agriculture fell to the lowest and retail went to the top in the economy of 2020.

Moreover, the graphs shows the demand for the jobs and according to the time the most of the demand is in healthcare however, it was the lowest before time. The time frame is 1960, 1980, 2000, and 2020 all the changes has been the symbol of new demand.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response covers the main features of the graph, identifying the trends for the four sectors. However, the analysis is somewhat superficial. While you correctly identify the rise of healthcare and the decline of agriculture, the description of the data is occasionally imprecise, such as stating retail and healthcare are the highest in the latest year without specifying the 2020 data points. To reach a higher band, ensure you include specific data points (numbers or years) to support your claims and provide a more detailed comparison between the sectors throughout the period, rather than just focusing on the start and end points.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the progression of ideas. You use basic cohesive devices like 'Overall', 'Firstly', and 'Moreover' to link your points. However, the flow between sentences is sometimes mechanical, and some referencing is unclear, such as 'it came to the opposite' or 'before time'. To improve, try to use a wider variety of linking words and ensure that pronouns or comparative phrases clearly refer back to the specific sectors or data points mentioned previously.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task but lacks variety and precision. You rely on basic terms like 'highest', 'lowest', and 'number of jobs'. There are also some awkward collocations, such as 'coming up to 2020' and 'symbol of new demand', which sound unnatural. To improve, incorporate more academic vocabulary related to trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', 'remained stable', or 'experienced a significant decline'. Focusing on precise terminology for describing graphs will help elevate your score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('The graphs provides', 'the highest number of jobs are retail'), missing articles ('in 1960 and coming up to 2020'), and awkward phrasing ('all the changes has been the symbol'). While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to affect the overall clarity. Focusing on proofreading for basic subject-verb agreement and article usage will significantly improve your accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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