Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-09
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The graph illustrates the information about the number of jobs in four different sectores of the economy betwenn 1960 and 2020 in US.
Overall number of jobs in manufacturing and agriculture showed a declining pattern compared to Retail and Healthcare. They showed significant improvement compared to previous years.
In 1960 Manufacturing was most trending job as it had the highest number of jobs(15 Million) followed by Retail and Agriculture, where about 6 million jobs were present for each. Healthcare Inudstry had the lowest numbers of job sitting on just above 2M jobs.
Furthermore by 1980 number of jobs in Manufacturing were at peak at around 20M jobs and afterwards it has been on a downward trend, around 13M jobs were only remaining by 2020. Whereas Retail and Healthcare jobs increased drastically over the period of time, both had nearly 16M jobs in 2020. Lastly Agricultural jobs went downhill from 6M jobs in 1960 to just mearly 3M jobs in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response covers all parts of the task by identifying the four sectors and describing the trends from 1960 to 2020. You have successfully highlighted the main features, such as the decline in manufacturing and agriculture versus the growth in retail and healthcare. However, the overview is slightly underdeveloped; while it mentions the trends, it could be more precise by explicitly stating the overall shift from goods-producing to service-oriented sectors. The data points are generally accurate, though the description of the 1980 peak for manufacturing is a good inclusion. To reach a higher band, ensure the overview provides a more comprehensive summary of the key trends rather than just listing them.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is logically organized into an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. There is a clear progression of ideas, moving from general trends to specific data points. You use some cohesive devices such as 'Furthermore', 'Whereas', and 'Lastly' to link your ideas. However, the transition between the overview and the body paragraphs is a bit abrupt. Additionally, some referencing is slightly mechanical. To improve, try to vary your linking words and ensure that each paragraph flows more naturally into the next by using more sophisticated cohesive ties rather than relying on simple sequence markers.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
You have an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'declining pattern', 'drastically', and 'downward trend'. However, there are several spelling errors, such as 'sectores', 'betwenn', 'Inudstry', and 'mearly', which detract from the overall quality. Furthermore, some word choices are slightly informal or imprecise, such as 'most trending job' and 'sitting on'. To achieve a higher band, focus on using more precise academic vocabulary and ensure your spelling is accurate. Expanding your range of collocations related to data description—such as 'witnessed a significant surge' or 'experienced a steady decline'—would also be beneficial.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with articles ('in US' should be 'in the US') and subject-verb agreement ('number of jobs... were'). Some sentences are also slightly awkward, such as 'Overall number of jobs in manufacturing and agriculture showed a declining pattern'. There are also minor punctuation issues, such as missing spaces after commas and parentheses. To improve, focus on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy, specifically articles, prepositions, and pluralization, and aim to incorporate a wider variety of complex sentence structures with greater precision.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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