Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-09
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The graph illustrates the change in number of jobs, measured in millions across four areas (manufacturing, retail, agriculture, and healthcare) in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Overall, there was a rise in number of jobs in the field of retail and agriculture, while manufacturing and healthcare sectors experienced a drop in opportunities.
Retail industry accounted for 6 million jobs in 1960 which climbed significantly to reach 16 million in 2020. Similarly, healthcare sector grew to provide 16 million jobs in 2020, while the number was just 3 million in 1960.
The field of manufacturing was the most prominent sector to produce jobs, equal to 15 million in 1960, which rose to reach 20 million in 1980, the highest jobs any sector had generated ever . After 1980, manufacturing industry declined to provide work to around 13 million people in 2020. Agriculture created employment similar in number to retail in 1960 of about 6 million, however the number went down gradually to reach just 3 million in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
You have successfully identified the main trends and provided a clear overview of the data. You selected relevant data points to support your descriptions, such as the peak in manufacturing in 1980 and the growth in retail and healthcare. However, there is a significant factual error in your overview: you stated that agriculture experienced a rise, whereas the graph clearly shows a decline from 6 million to 3 million. This inaccuracy impacts the accuracy of your summary. To improve, ensure that your overview perfectly aligns with the visual data provided to avoid misleading the reader.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5
The response is logically organized, with a clear introduction, overview, and body paragraphs. You use some cohesive devices effectively, such as 'Similarly' and 'However'. However, the progression of ideas is occasionally hindered by minor mechanical issues, such as the phrasing 'the highest jobs any sector had generated ever', which feels slightly disjointed. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the trends, and the overall structure is easy to follow. To reach a higher band, focus on using a wider variety of linking words to connect sentences more fluidly.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'prominent', 'accounted for', and 'declined'. There are some minor inaccuracies in word choice, such as 'the highest jobs any sector had generated ever', which is slightly awkward. Additionally, you occasionally omit articles, such as 'in field of retail' instead of 'in the field of retail'. While these errors do not impede communication, they prevent the response from reaching a higher band. Focusing on precise collocations and article usage will strengthen your writing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, which is appropriate for this task. There are several grammatical errors, particularly regarding article usage (e.g., 'in field of retail', 'in healthcare sector') and some awkward phrasing. While these errors are noticeable, they do not impede the reader's understanding of the data. To improve, pay closer attention to subject-verb agreement and the consistent use of articles before nouns. Increasing the variety of complex structures, such as using more passive voice or relative clauses, would also help improve your score.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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