Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-09

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.0)

In this graph i saw the number of jobs divided into four sectors the economy of US [redacted phone] . In 1960 the healthcare grow 0 then in 1980 they grow 5% then in 2000 they grow up to 10 and in 2020 they grow 15 . In 1960 the agriculture rate is up to 5 then in 1980 the agriculture rate less than five then in 2000 the rate of agriculture is equal to 1980 rate and then in 2020 the rate of agriculture is more less in 1980 and 2000 rate . In 1960 the retail rate is 5 then in 1980 this rate is blow to 10 and then in 2020 his rate more grow up to 15% and in 2020 this rate not glow up but equal to 2000 year rate . In 1960 the Manufacturing rate is 15% then in 1980 this rate more upper into 20% and then in 2000 they loss his rate and less than 20% and then in 2020 they loss more rate and less than 15% .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0

The response attempts to describe the data but fails to provide a clear overview or identify key trends. The information is presented as a list of data points rather than a summary of main features. The description of the data is often inaccurate, such as stating 'healthcare grow 0' in 1960, which is not clearly supported by the graph. There is no attempt to compare the sectors effectively. The response lacks a clear structure, and the reporting of figures is inconsistent and confusing, making it difficult for the reader to follow the trends over the 60-year period.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0

The response is written as a single, dense paragraph, lacking logical paragraphing. While there is a basic attempt to sequence information chronologically, the lack of cohesive devices makes the text feel repetitive and mechanical. Phrases like 'then in 1980' and 'and then in 2000' are used excessively, creating a monotonous flow. There is no clear progression of ideas, and the lack of transition words or varied sentence structures hinders the overall readability of the report.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.0

The vocabulary is very limited and repetitive. The student relies on basic verbs like 'grow', 'loss', and 'rate' throughout the text. There is a lack of precision in describing trends; for instance, 'more upper' and 'more less' are non-standard and inaccurate ways to describe numerical changes. The misuse of words like 'glow' instead of 'grow' and the repetitive structure of the sentences indicate a restricted range of vocabulary that is insufficient for an academic task.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0

The response contains frequent grammatical errors that impede communication. There are consistent issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'healthcare grow', 'agriculture rate is'), incorrect tense usage, and awkward phrasing (e.g., 'this rate more upper into 20%'). The sentence structures are simple and repetitive, with no evidence of complex grammatical structures. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with spaces before periods. These frequent errors make the text difficult to understand and indicate a very limited control of English grammar.

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