Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-09

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The given graph illustrates the information about different four sectors of the economy's jobs like manufacturing, retail, agriculture, healthcare in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, in the retail and healthcare sector the number of jobs increased by the 2020. but in manufacturing and agriculture sector the number of jobs decreased up to 12 million and 2 million respectively.

In 1960, manufacturing sector created 15 million jobs. Retail and agriculture sectors created same number of jobs about 6 million. Healthcare created a smaller number of jobs around only 3 million.

In 1980, three sectors like manufacturing, retail, and healthcare increased the number of jobs, but agriculture decreased the number of jobs.

In the 2000, agriculture sector stayed stable. Retail and healthcare sectors increased number of jobs about 15 million and 11 million respectively. But manufacturing sector decreased in the number of jobs about 17 million as compares to 1980. Now in 2020. Retail and healthcare sector continually increased number of jobs as compares to manufacturing and healthcare.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response covers all four sectors and provides a general overview, though the data reporting is inconsistent. While you identify the main trends, some figures are inaccurate or confusingly presented, such as the claim that manufacturing decreased by 17 million compared to 1980, which is not clearly supported by the graph. The overview is somewhat simplistic, and the lack of precise data points for certain years makes it difficult for the reader to follow the trends. To improve, ensure that the data selected is accurate and that the comparison between sectors is more clearly defined.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is mechanical and sometimes repetitive, such as the frequent use of 'In [year]'. The progression of ideas is occasionally disjointed, particularly in the final paragraph where the comparison between sectors becomes unclear. To improve, use a wider variety of linking words and transition phrases to connect sentences and ideas more fluidly, rather than relying on simple chronological markers at the start of every paragraph.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks the precision required for higher bands. You rely on basic verbs like 'increased' and 'decreased' repeatedly. There are also some awkward collocations, such as 'different four sectors' instead of 'four different sectors'. While the meaning is generally clear, the range of vocabulary is limited, and there is little attempt to use more sophisticated or academic terminology to describe trends (e.g., 'fluctuated', 'peaked', 'remained constant').

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

There is a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but the accuracy is inconsistent. You frequently omit articles (e.g., 'in manufacturing and agriculture sector') and have issues with punctuation, such as unnecessary full stops in the middle of sentences (e.g., 'by the 2020. but'). Subject-verb agreement and preposition usage also show errors. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to lower the score. Focus on proofreading for basic grammatical errors and article usage.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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