Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-09
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The given line graph compares the number of jobs in four different sectors in US from [redacted phone].
To Embark with, it is noticeable that in manufacturing sector in 1960 the number of jobs were 15milllion with time it increases and went to 20 millions in 1980 after 1980 it started decreasing and went to near 16-17million in 2000 and in 2020 the number of jobs becomes 13million. Secondly, in retail sector in 1960 it is near 6million and it increased with time and becomes 10million in 1980 it continues increasing with time and becomes 15million in 2000 and it becomes stable and not verry that much and becomes 16million in 2020. Thirdly, in agriculture sector in 1960 it is 6million and started declining with time and becomes 3million in 1980 and in 2000 and it slightly decline and goes near 2millon in 2020. Lastly, in healthcare sector in 1960 number is 3million job and started increasing with time and becomes 5million 1980, 11million in 2000 and 16million in 2020.
Overall manufacturing sector giving most number of jobs and agricultures sectors has lowest number of jobs.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response covers all four sectors and provides data points for the years mentioned. However, the overview is weak and inaccurate; stating that the manufacturing sector had the 'most number of jobs' throughout the period is factually incorrect based on the graph, as healthcare and retail overtake it by 2020. The report is essentially a list of data points rather than a summary of trends. To improve, you must identify significant trends (e.g., the steady growth of healthcare versus the decline of agriculture) rather than simply listing every figure for every decade. The conclusion is also inaccurate, which limits the score.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which is a positive step. However, the use of cohesive devices is mechanical and sometimes unnatural, such as 'To Embark with' to start the essay. The progression of ideas within paragraphs is repetitive, relying heavily on 'and it becomes' or 'with time'. Referencing is sometimes unclear, and the lack of sophisticated linking words makes the flow feel disjointed. To improve, use a wider variety of transition signals and focus on grouping information logically rather than just following the timeline for each sector individually.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is quite limited and repetitive. Phrases like 'number of jobs were', 'increased with time', and 'becomes' are used repeatedly throughout the text. There are also errors in word formation and collocation, such as 'verry that much' and '15milllion'. The range of vocabulary is insufficient to convey the trends with precision. To reach a higher band, you should incorporate more varied verbs and nouns to describe trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'surpassed', 'plummeted', or 'a significant upward trajectory'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains frequent grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'number of jobs were' instead of 'was') and tense consistency. There is a lack of complex sentence structures; most sentences are simple or compound with repetitive 'and' connectors. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with missing spaces after numbers and periods. While the meaning is generally clear, the high frequency of basic errors and the lack of complex structures prevent a higher score. Focus on using relative clauses and varied sentence starters to improve your grammatical range.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.