Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-09
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The line graph illustrates information about the number of jobs in four sectors(manufacturing, retail, agriculture, healthcare) of the economy in the United State from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, Manufacturing jobs was most popular choice over three decades and declined steadily whereas, Retail and healthcare followed same trend and end at same level while, agriculture has lowest number of jobs over a period in US.
In 1960, Manufacturing jobs was popular in American economy at 15 millions then increased to 20 millions in 1980 and started to decline throughout a period and its lowest at approximately 13 million in 2020.
Retail and healthcare jobs at approximately 6 millions and 3 millions respectively in 1980 and followed same upward trajectory over a period. In contrast, reached at highest level over 15 million, which is also same level in 2020. Meanwhile, Agricultural jobs in 1980 at same level to Retail jobs, then declined dramatically and reached at lowest from other sector approximately 2 millions in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends, such as the dominance of manufacturing and the decline of agriculture. However, the overview is slightly inaccurate; for instance, stating that retail and healthcare 'end at the same level' is not fully supported by the data, and the description of the trends is somewhat disjointed. The reporting of figures is generally clear, but there is a lack of precision in comparing the sectors throughout the period. To improve, ensure that the overview captures the most significant overall patterns rather than just listing individual trends, and double-check the data points to ensure accuracy in your comparisons.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate, such as the repetitive use of 'whereas' and 'meanwhile' in ways that do not always link ideas effectively. Some sentences are fragmented or lack clear transitions, making the progression of ideas feel a bit stilted. To reach a higher band, focus on using a wider variety of linking words and ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that guides the reader through the data analysis.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is adequate for the task, allowing the student to describe trends like 'increased', 'decline', and 'upward trajectory'. However, there are several instances of awkward phrasing and word choice errors, such as 'most popular choice' to describe job sectors and 'reached at highest level'. The range of vocabulary is somewhat limited, relying on basic descriptors. To improve, try to incorporate more precise academic collocations and avoid repetitive phrasing. Focus on using verbs that accurately describe movement, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', or 'remained stable'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and some attempted complex structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Common issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'Manufacturing jobs was', 'agriculture has lowest') and missing articles (e.g., 'at lowest from other sector'). Preposition usage is also inconsistent, such as 'reached at highest level'. While the meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of these errors prevents the writing from reaching a higher band. Focus on proofreading for basic subject-verb agreement and article usage to improve accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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