Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-09

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph illustrates the number of jobs in four sectors of the US economy, namely Manufacturing, retail, agricultural and healthcare, between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, manufacturing had the highest numbers of jobs in 1960 and 1980, but it's figure decreased after 1980. In contrast, the number of jobs in healthcare and retail increased significantly. Agricultural was the only sector which experienced an overall decline.

In 1960, manufacturing was the only sector that provided the highest jobs 15 millions, in contrast healthcare had the 2 million jobs opportunities. Agriculture and retail had the same number of jobs around 6 millions. In 1980, manufacturing department occupied the highest peak in graph 20 millions jobs, retail and healthcare were increasing steadily at point 10 millions and 5 millions respectively.

After the 1980, in 2000 year manufacturing was sharply decreased from about 16 million to around 13 millions at the end of the year 2020.

Retails and healthcare were dramatically increased from

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response provides a clear overview of the main trends, such as the decline in manufacturing and the growth in healthcare and retail. However, the response is incomplete, as it cuts off abruptly at the end, failing to finish the description of the final two sectors. While the key features are identified, the lack of a complete conclusion and the incomplete final sentence mean that the task is not fully addressed. To improve, ensure that all data points are described and that the essay reaches a logical conclusion rather than ending mid-sentence.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into paragraphs, and there is a logical progression from the introduction to the overview and the body paragraphs. Cohesive devices such as 'In contrast', 'Overall', and 'In 1960' are used to guide the reader. However, the sudden termination of the text significantly impacts the overall coherence, as the final paragraph is left unfinished. The referencing is generally clear, but the mechanical nature of the transition between the overview and the body paragraphs could be improved to create a more natural flow.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The range of vocabulary is adequate for the task, with terms like 'illustrates', 'experienced an overall decline', and 'increased significantly'. However, there are several inaccuracies in word choice and form, such as 'manufacturing department' instead of 'sector', and 'it's figure' (a grammatical error affecting lexical precision). The repetition of 'jobs' and 'millions' suggests a limited range. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise collocations and avoiding repetitive phrasing by using synonyms or varied sentence structures.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues ('manufacturing was the only sector that provided the highest jobs 15 millions'), incorrect use of articles, and punctuation errors. The phrase 'in 2000 year' is also non-standard. While the meaning is generally clear, the frequency of these errors is noticeable. To improve, pay closer attention to pluralization, article usage, and the correct formation of noun phrases when describing statistical data.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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