Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-09

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The graph illustrates the detailed information of the number of the employment in US economy from 1960 to 2020.

Overall the manufacturing accounted the highest while the agriculture and health care both demonstrate the lowest economy in different decades.

From 1960 the manufacturing department had the average 15 million jobs but eventually got a great surged in 1980 by 20 and then the graph went to decrease significantly and reached to approximately 14 at the end of 2020. The agricultural department experienced a slight downfall from 7 to around 3 in 2020. Retail department went to a drastic increased from the beginning of 1960 it was about 3 but at the end of 2020 that reached about 16 which was a higher jump throughout the following decades.

Similarly the health care department had a deniable increased from 1960 it was just 3 in terms of millions thus reached by 16 by the end of 2020 which was the dramatic jumped in overall.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response covers the main features of the graph, identifying the trends for the four sectors. However, the overview is slightly inaccurate; stating that manufacturing accounted for the 'highest' while agriculture and health care were the 'lowest' is a bit vague, especially since the sectors cross over significantly over the 60-year period. The data reporting is generally clear, but there is a lack of precision in some figures (e.g., 'average 15 million' is not clearly supported by the graph). To reach a higher band, ensure that the overview highlights the most significant trends, such as the shift from manufacturing to service-based sectors like health care and retail.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs focusing on different sectors. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'Similarly' and 'at the end of', though some transitions feel a bit mechanical. The progression of ideas is generally clear, but the referencing could be improved to avoid repetitive sentence structures. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the different trends, which helps the reader follow the information provided.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The range of vocabulary is adequate for the task, but there are several instances of awkward word choice and collocation errors. For example, 'deniable increased' is incorrect (likely meant 'deniable' as a mistake for 'definite' or 'notable'), and 'dramatic jumped' is grammatically incorrect. While the student attempts to use descriptive language like 'drastic increased' and 'slight downfall', these phrases are often used with incorrect word forms. Improving the accuracy of collocations and word forms will significantly enhance the quality of the writing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the flow. Issues include missing articles ('in US economy'), incorrect verb forms ('accounted the highest', 'got a great surged'), and subject-verb agreement errors. Punctuation is generally functional, but the sentence construction often feels forced. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence patterns and ensuring that verb tenses and forms are used consistently when describing past data.

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