Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-09

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph illustrates the amount of jobs in four different sectors of the economy in united states of america from 1960 to 2020.

Over 60 decades, retail and healthcare showed steady increase with over 15 million jobs in unites states whereas, manufacturing and Agriculture jobs decreases dramatically.

Manufacturing sector had highest number of jobs in 1960 which tends to increase dramatically up to 20 million jobs in 1980 but after that a dramatic decrease is shown ended up with approximately 13 million jobs in US.

Moreover, Retail and healthcare had the lowest jobs in 1960 more than 5 million and 2 million respectively, but increased statically over the years, ended up with over 15 million jobs in 2020. however, Agriculture sector had more then 5 million jobs in 1960 but that number kept decreasing till 2020 with almost only 2 million jobs left in agricultural sector in united states.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response covers the main features of the graph, identifying the trends for the four sectors. However, the overview is slightly inaccurate; stating that retail and healthcare showed a 'steady increase' with 'over 15 million jobs' is a generalization that ignores the specific starting points and the distinct trajectories of these sectors. Furthermore, the description of the manufacturing sector contains factual inconsistencies regarding the timeline and peak figures. While the main trends are identified, the lack of precision in reporting data points and the slight misinterpretation of the graph's timeline (referring to '60 decades' instead of 60 years) limit the effectiveness of the summary. To improve, ensure data points are cited accurately and the overview captures the most significant shifts clearly.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The response is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the information. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and occasionally misused, such as the transition 'however' which does not always logically connect the preceding and following ideas. The referencing is sometimes unclear, and the flow between sentences feels a bit disjointed. For example, the transition between the general overview and the specific sector analysis could be smoother. To reach a higher band, focus on using a wider variety of linking words and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear, logical progression that guides the reader through the data without repetitive structures.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks the precision and variety expected at higher levels. There are several instances of word-choice errors, such as 'increased statically' (likely meant 'steadily') and 'amount of jobs' (should be 'number of jobs'). The range of vocabulary is limited, relying on basic descriptors like 'dramatically' and 'increased'. To improve, incorporate more precise terminology related to trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', 'declined gradually', or 'remained stable'. Additionally, ensure that collocations are accurate to avoid awkward phrasing that can distract the reader from the information being presented.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Issues include missing articles (e.g., 'in united states of america'), subject-verb agreement errors (e.g., 'manufacturing and Agriculture jobs decreases'), and incorrect preposition usage. The misuse of '60 decades' instead of '60 years' is a significant error that affects the accuracy of the information. While the meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of these errors prevents the response from reaching a higher band. Focusing on proofreading for basic grammar, such as articles and verb tenses, would significantly improve the quality of the writing.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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