Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-09

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The graph depicts the the job market of the United States in four different sectors of finance over the last six decades.

This graph divided economy of 25 millions job in few sectors such as Manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare in the US from 1960 to 2020 .

The first thing I noticed, In 1960 less than five million jobs were consumed by but it did not stop there and later its consumers increased gradually to 16 million which is not sudden boost it took six decades to reach at this level. However, The graph illustrates sudden deleterious the job consumers of agriculture because it dropped to two million from sixty lac. where as, The manufacturing industry jobs number was 15 millions and in two decades it rose more to 20 millions but then sudden declined can be seen and came to less than 15 millions in 2020. While , The retail job market stick to development from the initial stage its job market reached to 15 millions but gradually. The cross match can also be witnessed in the among manufacturing and retail industries job fluctuations. overall graph indicates fluctuation in job market of all the four sectors but two remained growing stable.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response attempts to cover the four sectors, but the information is often inaccurate or confusing. For instance, the description of the agriculture sector as having 'sixty lac' is unclear and non-standard for an IELTS task. The overview is weak, as it fails to clearly identify the most significant trends or the overall shift in the US economy. The data reporting is inconsistent, and the lack of clarity regarding the specific figures makes it difficult for the reader to follow the trends. To improve, focus on identifying the most prominent features—such as the growth of healthcare versus the decline of agriculture—and present these with precise data points from the graph.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay lacks a clear logical structure. While there is an attempt at paragraphing, the ideas within the paragraphs are disjointed. The use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or misused, such as 'The first thing I noticed,' which is too informal for an Academic Task 1. Transitions like 'However' and 'Where as' are used incorrectly, creating confusion rather than guiding the reader through the data. The referencing is also unclear, making it difficult to track which sector is being discussed at various points. Improving the use of linking words and ensuring each paragraph has a clear thematic focus would significantly enhance the flow.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is limited and often imprecise. There are several instances of awkward word choices, such as 'jobs were consumed by' and 'job consumers of agriculture,' which do not accurately describe economic data. The use of 'sixty lac' is inappropriate for an international exam. There is also a lack of variety in reporting verbs and descriptive language for trends. To reach a higher band, you should use more precise terminology related to economic trends, such as 'fluctuated,' 'remained stable,' 'experienced a sharp decline,' or 'showed a steady upward trend,' rather than relying on repetitive or inaccurate phrasing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. There are issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'The graph divided economy'), incorrect article usage, and awkward sentence construction (e.g., 'The cross match can also be witnessed in the among manufacturing'). Punctuation is also problematic, with commas used incorrectly and capital letters appearing mid-sentence. While there is an attempt to use complex sentences, they are often structurally flawed. Focusing on basic sentence accuracy—ensuring subjects and verbs agree and that clauses are connected correctly—is essential before attempting more complex grammatical structures.

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