Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-09
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
the given line chart illustrates about the number of employment in four sectors which represent thee economy of US from the year 1960 to 2020.The jobs are measure in millions.
Overall, manufacturing sector has dominated in initial years however, it showed decline in last two period.on the other hand, retail and healthcare sectors are gradually increasing and get mat in the year 2020. while agriculture is in decline trend throughout the years.
To begin with, in the year 1960 manufacturing unit has 15 million jobs, which is increased in the year 1980 at 20 million jobs in US. Retail and healthcare was 6 and 3 million respectively .which now rose to 10 and 5 million of jobs respectively. However
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, which significantly impacts the development of the task. While you have identified some main features, such as the dominance of manufacturing and the growth of retail and healthcare, the analysis is incomplete. The description of the data is cut off abruptly at the end, and the trends for the final years are not fully explored or compared. To improve, ensure you provide a complete overview and support all key features with accurate data points from the graph. The current length prevents a full response to the prompt.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into an introduction, an overview, and a body paragraph, which provides a basic structure. However, the progression of ideas is hindered by the incomplete nature of the text. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'Overall', 'on the other hand', and 'To begin with', but the flow is interrupted by the sudden end of the response. Referencing is sometimes unclear, and the lack of a concluding summary or a fully developed body paragraph makes the overall structure feel disjointed and unfinished.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The range of vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks precision and variety. You use basic terms like 'number of employment' (should be 'employment levels') and 'decline trend' (should be 'downward trend'). There are also some spelling and word choice errors, such as 'thee' instead of 'the' and 'get mat' (likely meant 'met' or 'converged'). To achieve a higher band, focus on using more academic collocations and precise terminology related to data description, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', or 'remained stable'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and some attempted complex structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors. Examples include 'the given line chart illustrates about' (the verb 'illustrate' does not take 'about'), 'jobs are measure' (should be 'measured'), and 'manufacturing unit has 15 million jobs' (should be 'had'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with missing spaces after periods and incorrect capitalization. While the meaning is generally understandable, these errors are frequent and detract from the overall quality of the writing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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