Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-09

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The graph illustrates the number of jobs in manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare sector in the US from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, manufacturing sector had the most jobs in all sectors and the least one was healthcare in the year 1960. However, it was changed by the final year, retail and healthcare sector were on top and agriculture sector at bottom.

To begin with, manufacturing sector had around 15 million jobs in the year 1960, which was rise till 20 million in the year 1980. After then it was fall dramatically and reached around 13 million in the year 2020. Healthcare sector had the lowest jobs around 2 million in the year 1960, which was rise significantly just over 15 million in the year 2020.

Agriculture and retail sector were at same number of jobs in the year 1960 just over 5 million, but retail sector reached around 15 million and agriculture sector decreased around 2 million in the year 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response covers all four sectors and identifies key trends over the period. However, the overview is slightly inaccurate; for instance, stating that the manufacturing sector had the most jobs in 1960 is correct, but the claim that healthcare was the least is also correct. The summary of the final year is a bit confusing, as retail and healthcare did not necessarily 'top' the chart in the same way. While the main features are highlighted, the analysis lacks precision in comparing the magnitude of changes across all sectors. The response would benefit from a more careful selection of data points to support the overview.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the information. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'To begin with' and 'After then', though some transitions feel a bit mechanical or slightly unnatural, such as 'After then it was fall'. The progression of ideas is generally clear, moving from an overview to specific sector details. However, the referencing is occasionally imprecise, and the flow between sentences could be improved by using a wider variety of linking words to connect the trends more fluidly.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is adequate for the task, allowing the student to describe trends like 'rise significantly' and 'fall dramatically'. However, there is a lack of variety and some inaccuracies in word choice. For example, 'it was changed by the final year' is not a standard way to describe a shift in data. The student relies on basic verbs and nouns, and there is little evidence of less common lexical items or sophisticated collocations. To reach a higher band, the student should incorporate more precise terminology related to data description.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the flow. Common issues include missing articles (e.g., 'manufacturing sector'), incorrect verb tenses or passive voice constructions (e.g., 'it was rise' instead of 'it rose'), and awkward phrasing. While the meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of these errors prevents the writing from reaching a higher band. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles would significantly improve the quality of the writing.

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