Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-09

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The line graph shows the comparison between various jobs in four sector of the economy in the US, [redacted phone]. The jobs between [redacted phone] were in million. Manufacturing was higher in the 1980's comparison than other jobs 20 Million but it goes down in 2000 to between 15-20 million and Furthermore, in 2020 to 10-15 Million. Retail was lower in 1960's but it goes higher in 2000's in comparison to the Manufacturing.

The Agriculture side was between 5-10 Million but it goes lower to 0-5 Million in 1890's and than goes furthermore down in the 2000- 2020. In comparison to all these the Healthcare side was first in place was not doing good in 1960's.

It was between 0-5 Million but with time it goes higher in 1980' to 5 Million. And than goes furthermore, Higher in the 2000's between 10-15 Million. and than it take place higher in the year 2020 between 15 Million jobs.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response attempts to address the task by describing the four sectors; however, the information is often inaccurate or poorly presented. For example, the mention of '1890's' is factually incorrect based on the provided graph (1960-2020). The overview is missing, and the description of trends is fragmented and lacks a clear summary of the main features. The data points provided are often vague (e.g., 'between 15-20 million') and do not accurately reflect the specific trends shown in the graph. To improve, you must provide a clear overview of the overall trends and ensure that the data points cited are precise and logically organized.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay is divided into paragraphs, but the logical progression of ideas is weak. The transition between sentences is often repetitive, relying heavily on phrases like 'it goes higher' or 'it goes lower'. There is a lack of cohesive devices to link ideas effectively, making the text feel like a list of observations rather than a cohesive report. Referencing is sometimes unclear, and the overall structure lacks a logical flow that guides the reader through the data. Improving the use of linking words such as 'consequently', 'in contrast', or 'meanwhile' would help connect your observations more fluidly.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is quite limited and repetitive. You frequently use basic verbs like 'goes' and 'doing good' to describe trends, which is not appropriate for an academic report. There is little evidence of less common lexical items or precise terminology related to data description (e.g., 'fluctuated', 'peaked', 'remained stable'). The phrasing 'the Healthcare side was first in place' is unnatural. To reach a higher band, you should incorporate more varied and precise vocabulary to describe changes in data, such as 'experienced a significant increase' or 'showed a downward trend'.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. There are issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'it goes higher'), incorrect tense usage, and awkward sentence structures. Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with the use of apostrophes (e.g., '1980's', '2000's'). The range of structures is limited, consisting mostly of simple sentences. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction and ensuring consistent tense usage when describing historical data. Incorporating a wider variety of complex sentence structures, such as using subordinate clauses, would also enhance your score.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.