Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-10

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph illustrates the information about the amount of jobs in for areas of work fields in the United States from the year [redacted phone].

Overall, we can see that in 1960s the manufacturing industry was offering jobs for about 15 million people after this the retail industry seems to be on the second position with about 6 million people working in that industry and fewer people for about 3 million individuals were working in the healthcare sectors. From 1960 to 2020 retail and healthcare companies seems to hike up the employment by more than 15 million people but the agricultural industry having almost 6 million people employed in 1960 declined radically to3 million workers in 2000 and by 2020 it got declined to 2 million.

However , manufacturing company that had the most employees in 1960 hiked up-to 20 million people in 1980 moving down to 16 million people in 2000 reseeding to 13 million works by 2020

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response covers the main features of the graph, identifying trends for all four sectors. However, the overview is weak; it lacks a clear summary of the most significant trends, such as the overall growth in service sectors versus the decline in agriculture. The data reporting is sometimes imprecise, such as stating 'retail and healthcare companies seems to hike up the employment by more than 15 million people', which is a vague interpretation of the data. While the key features are present, the lack of a clear, analytical overview and some inaccuracies in data description limit the score.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into three paragraphs, which is a logical structure for this task. However, the use of cohesive devices is limited and sometimes mechanical. Phrases like 'after this' and 'but the agricultural industry' are used to link ideas, but the flow between sentences is often disjointed. The referencing is occasionally unclear, and the transition between the overview and the body paragraphs could be smoother. Paragraphing is present, but the internal logical progression within the paragraphs is somewhat repetitive and lacks variety in linking words.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The range of vocabulary is adequate to convey the main points but lacks precision and sophistication. There are several instances of awkward word choices, such as 'reseeding' instead of 'receding' and 'got declined'. The use of 'hike up' is informal for an Academic Task 1 response. While the vocabulary is sufficient to communicate the trends, there is little evidence of less common lexical items or precise collocations related to data description. Spelling errors like 'reseeding' and 'for' (instead of 'four') also detract from the overall quality.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('retail and healthcare companies seems', 'manufacturing company... hiked up') and incorrect preposition usage. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with missing spaces after commas and incorrect capitalization. While the meaning is generally clear, the frequency of errors in basic grammar and sentence construction prevents a higher score. More attention to verb tenses and pluralisation is required.

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