Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-10
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The graph illustrates the information related to the number of jobs in four different sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Overall, the citizens of us were actively involved in manufacturing company unlike in healthcare department was less prefered by us citizens in 1960. However retail and agriculture were fluctuated throughout the period.
Initially, in the year 1960,15 million people choose manufacturing Field as the source of economy but it slightly declined by 2 million individuals to reach 13 million in 2020.on the otherhand health care is least noticeable by 3 million in 1960 but reached at a peak by 16 million in 2020.
Subsequently, retail and agriculture were constant by 6 million individuals in 1960 but from 1980 retail company illustrates the upward trend by 16 million people in the year 2020. whereas agriculture accounted for the lowest proportion by 3 million people in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response covers all four sectors and provides a general overview, though the summary is slightly inaccurate. For example, stating that retail and agriculture 'fluctuated' is not supported by the data, which shows clear trends. The description of the data is generally relevant, but the analysis lacks precision in comparing the sectors effectively. The overview is somewhat confusing, as it mentions 'manufacturing company' and 'healthcare department' rather than referring to the sectors themselves. To improve, ensure that the overview captures the most significant trends (e.g., the dramatic rise of healthcare versus the decline of manufacturing) rather than listing specific details.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate. Phrases like 'Initially' and 'Subsequently' are used, but the transitions between sentences are sometimes abrupt. The referencing is occasionally unclear, such as 'retail company illustrates the upward trend', which does not clearly link back to the data. The logical progression is present but hindered by awkward phrasing and a lack of variety in linking words. Improving the flow between sentences and using a wider range of cohesive devices would enhance the coherence of the response.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks the precision required for a higher band. There are several instances of awkward word choice, such as 'manufacturing company' instead of 'manufacturing sector' and 'less prefered' instead of 'less popular'. The term 'choose' is used incorrectly in the context of job statistics. While the student attempts to use topic-specific vocabulary, the collocations are often unnatural. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise terminology related to trends and economic sectors, and ensure that words are used in their correct grammatical forms.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'retail and agriculture were fluctuated'), incorrect preposition usage ('reached at a peak'), and missing articles. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with some sentences starting with lowercase letters after a period. While the meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of these errors prevents the writing from reaching a higher band. Focusing on basic sentence construction and proofreading for subject-verb agreement would significantly improve the accuracy of the writing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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