Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-10

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph states data about amount of people who were employed in four major US economic sectors from 1960 and 2020.

Overall, Manufacturing was the largest employer at the start meanwhile healthcare was at the bottom. Both Retail land Agriculture started at the same number but there numbers fluctuated over the period.

Manufacturing was the greatest employer in the four major sectors in US economy and started with 15 million jobs in 1960, furthermore numbers rose steady for next 20 years where it reached its highest number with 20 million people employed. However, after that the numbers started to decline steadily with 14.7 million jobs in 2020. On the other hand Healthcare department had the lowest numbers in 1960 with 2 million poeople employed saw a dramic rise in its growth with which it overtook manufacturing around 2010 and became the largest employer in 2020.

On the other hand, Both retail and agriculture staryed with same number of employees in 1960 around 6 million. There was a steady rise in Reatil departemnt over the next 6 decades tro reach 16 million employees. However the numbers for agricultures declined severily with passage of time and reached the lowest over the 6 decades to reach its lowest at around 2 million employees.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response covers all four sectors and identifies key trends such as the rise of healthcare and the decline of agriculture. The overview is clear and highlights the main features effectively. However, there are some inaccuracies in the data reporting; for instance, stating that retail and agriculture started at the same number (6 million) is a reasonable estimation, but the description of the trends could be more precise. The comparison between sectors is generally well-handled, though the analysis of the fluctuations could be more detailed to fully meet the requirements of a higher band. Overall, the response successfully addresses the prompt and provides a clear summary of the provided data.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The response is logically organized into four paragraphs, with a clear introduction, overview, and two body paragraphs. Cohesive devices such as 'however', 'furthermore', and 'on the other hand' are used to link ideas. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical, and there are instances where the flow could be smoother. For example, the transition between the discussion of manufacturing and healthcare is a bit abrupt. Paragraphing is appropriate, and there is a clear progression of ideas throughout the text, which helps the reader follow the information easily.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is adequate for the task, allowing the writer to describe trends (e.g., 'fluctuated', 'steadily', 'dramatic rise'). There are several spelling errors, such as 'poeople', 'dramic', 'staryed', 'Reatil', and 'severily', which detract from the overall quality. While the range of vocabulary is sufficient to convey the main points, the errors in spelling and occasional word choice issues (e.g., 'department' used for sectors) limit the score. To improve, the student should focus on proofreading for common spelling mistakes and using more precise terminology related to economic data.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues (e.g., 'there numbers fluctuated') and missing articles (e.g., 'in US economy'). Punctuation is generally functional, but there are some awkward phrasings that hinder clarity, such as 'saw a dramic rise in its growth with which it overtook'. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. Increasing the variety of complex structures while ensuring accuracy in basic grammar would be beneficial.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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