Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-10

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph illustrates the data about the amount of employed people in four major economic sectors in the US over the period of six decades from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, Manufacturing, Healthcare and Retail departments had the biggest changes in there employment. however, agriculture department saw a graduall declined in there employment level over the period displayed in graph.

The paramount employer was manufacturing in 1960 with 15 million employed citizens and the number surged over the next 20 years where it reached its highest employed data of the 20 million people employed but after that the numbers started to decline gradually over the next 4 decades and it reached approximately 14.8 million in 2020. The healthcare department started with lowest number of people employed. However, there number took a dramatical surged over the next 6 decades with employment level over took all the departments with around 15.2 million employments in 2020.

On the other hand, both retail and agriculture stated at the same number with 6 million employed citizens although there paths were different over the coming decades. The retail steadily rose over the period and reached 15 million in 2020 and after that there number remained plateaue and increased little to reached 15.2 million citizens who were working in this sector. Meanwhile, the Agriculture department employment level plummeted gradually over the the period and reached the lowest level in 2020 with 2 million employments.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response covers all key features of the graph, including the trends for all four sectors. You successfully identified the main trends, such as the rise of healthcare and the decline of agriculture. However, the overview is slightly flawed; you mention 'biggest changes in their employment' for three sectors but fail to clearly contrast the overall trajectory of the four sectors. Additionally, there are some inaccuracies in data reporting, such as stating the retail sector reached 15 million and then plateaued, which is not clearly supported by the visual data provided. To reach a higher band, ensure that the overview highlights the most significant differences between the sectors rather than just listing them.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is logically organized into paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. You use some cohesive devices like 'However', 'On the other hand', and 'Meanwhile' to link ideas. However, the flow is occasionally hindered by awkward phrasing and mechanical errors in referencing, such as 'there number' instead of 'their number'. The progression of ideas is generally clear, but the transition between the description of the retail sector and the agriculture sector could be smoother. Improving the variety and accuracy of your cohesive devices will help the text flow more naturally.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'plummeted', 'surged', and 'plateaued'. However, there are frequent errors in word choice and form, such as 'dramatical surged' (should be 'dramatic surge') and 'graduall declined' (should be 'gradual decline'). You also confuse 'there' with 'their' repeatedly. While these errors do not prevent the reader from understanding the main points, they are noticeable and detract from the overall quality. To improve, focus on using word forms correctly and expanding your range of collocations related to data description.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, which is appropriate for this task. However, there are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, including subject-verb agreement issues ('there number took a dramatical surged') and incorrect verb tenses ('retail stated at the same number'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with the use of commas and capitalization. While the meaning is generally clear, these errors occur frequently enough to impact the overall accuracy. Focusing on basic sentence construction and proofreading for common errors like subject-verb agreement will significantly improve your score.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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