Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-10
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line chart compares four sectors of the economy in terms of the number of jobs they provided over the period of 60 years in the US.
It is evident that the number of jobs in retail and healthcare sectors increased throughout the period, while the other two sectors faced decline in the number of vacancies.
In 1960, the manufacturing was the leading job sector and takes part in the US economy by proving 15 million jobs to the individuals. The both retail and agriculture sectors were offered equal employment opportunities to the people of the US with almost 6 million jobs in the year 1960. On the other hand, healthcare sector created the least number of jobs and lied at the end among four sectors in 1960 with only 2 million job opportunities.
The number of Jobs from manufacturing sector decreased to 13 million in 2020, a drop of almost 2 million. While the employment opportunities increased dramatically in both retail and healthcare sectors and the number rose up to almost 16 million at the end of 2020. In 2020, the agriculture was the least demanding sector with only 2 million jobs.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers the main features of the graph, identifying the trends for all four sectors. You successfully highlight the growth in retail and healthcare and the decline in manufacturing and agriculture. However, the overview is slightly thin, and some data points are inaccurate. For instance, you state that agriculture was the least demanding sector in 2020 with 2 million jobs, but the graph shows manufacturing also ending near that level, and the retail/healthcare figures are described as reaching 16 million, which is a slight misreading of the data points. To reach a higher band, ensure data accuracy and provide a more comprehensive overview of the overall trends.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is logically organized into an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. The progression of ideas is clear, moving from general trends to specific data points. You use some cohesive devices such as 'In 1960', 'On the other hand', and 'While', which help the flow. However, the use of referencing and linking is sometimes mechanical. For example, the transition between the description of 1960 and the 2020 data could be smoother. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the time periods, which aids readability.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'employment opportunities', 'vacancies', and 'sectors'. However, there are some awkward collocations and word choices, such as 'takes part in the US economy by proving' (should be 'contributed to... by providing') and 'least demanding sector' (which is not the correct term for job numbers). There are also minor errors in word form, such as 'the manufacturing' (should be 'manufacturing' without the article). Expanding your range of precise reporting verbs and nouns would improve this score.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors. Examples include 'The both retail and agriculture sectors were offered' (incorrect article and passive voice usage), 'healthcare sector created... and lied at the end' (should be 'lay'), and 'the number rose up to' (redundant preposition). While these errors do not impede communication, they are persistent throughout the text. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement, the correct use of articles, and ensuring that passive constructions are used accurately when describing data trends.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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