Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-10
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line chart illustrates the number of jobs in four sectors such as manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare in the US from 1969 to 2020.
It can be observed that in 1960, there were 15 millions job in manufacturing while 6 million employment in retail and agriculture sectors. Jobs in healthcare department accounted for only 2 million. After a two decade, employment in manufacturing increased and reached the highest peak at 20 million. There was also rise in both retail and healthcare department with 10 million and 5 million respectively. However, jobs decreased in agriculture and stood at 4 million.
It can be seen that in 2000, while employment in manufacturing decline and reached 17 million, further increased in retail sector which was 15 million. Healthcare jobs rose with 12 million, whereas jobs in agriculture department stay unchanged. Surprisingly at the end of the period, both retail and healthcare jobs reached 16 million jobs. There was decreased in both manufacturing (13 million) and agriculture section (2 million).
Overall, although manufacturing sector had the highest jobs in the beginning, both retail and agriculture sectors overtook and retain the highest jobs.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all parts of the task and identifies key trends, such as the initial dominance of manufacturing and the subsequent rise of retail and healthcare. However, the analysis is slightly hampered by inaccuracies in data reporting. For instance, the text mentions 1969 as the start date, whereas the prompt specifies 1960. Additionally, the description of the trends is sometimes imprecise, such as stating agriculture 'stayed unchanged' in 2000 when the graph shows a slight fluctuation. While the main features are highlighted, the overview is somewhat simplistic and could be more effectively integrated to provide a clearer summary of the overall shifts in the economy.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The response is logically organized into paragraphs, with an introduction, body paragraphs covering different time periods, and a concluding overview. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'It can be observed', 'However', and 'Overall', which help guide the reader. However, some transitions are mechanical, and the referencing is occasionally unclear. For example, the phrase 'After a two decade' is grammatically awkward and disrupts the flow. The progression of ideas is generally clear, but the connection between sentences could be smoother to improve the overall readability and logical flow of the report.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The range of vocabulary is adequate for the task, with terms like 'illustrates', 'employment', 'sectors', and 'accounted for' used appropriately. However, there are several instances of word-choice errors and awkward phrasing, such as 'healthcare department' (instead of sector), 'further increased in retail sector' (missing article), and 'jobs decreased in agriculture and stood at 4 million'. These errors do not impede communication but limit the precision of the report. To reach a higher band, you should focus on more accurate collocations and avoid repetitive phrasing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with articles ('the manufacturing', 'in retail sector'), pluralization ('15 millions job'), and verb tense/form consistency ('employment in manufacturing decline', 'jobs in agriculture department stay unchanged'). These errors are noticeable and occur throughout the text. While they rarely impede communication, they demonstrate a lack of control over more complex structures, which prevents the response from reaching a higher band score.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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