Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-10
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The given line graph illustrates the information about the number of jobs in four different sectors of the US economy between 1960 and 2020.
Overall, it is apparent that the manufacturing had the highest number of jobs for most of the period. While, the agriculture sector showed a significant decline. In contrast, two sectors, the healthcare and retail experienced same upward trend throughout the period
By 1960, the manufacturing jobs stood at around 15 million. They declined slightly from around 15 million in 1960 to approximately 13 million in 2020.Moreover, the reatail sector accounted for just under a quarterof the total, by 1960 it made up of around 6 million and it increased significantly, in 2020 it reached at 16 million of total. Meanwhile, the healthcare jobs experienced a similar upward trend , they rose from approximately 2 million in 1960 to 16 million at end of the period.
In contrast, the agriculture sector represented the downward trend over the period. It accounted at 6 million in starting of the period then it experienced dropped at around 2 million in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response provides a clear overview of the main trends, identifying the decline in agriculture and the growth in healthcare and retail. It successfully selects key data points to support these trends. However, the analysis of the manufacturing sector is slightly inaccurate; the text states it had the highest number of jobs for most of the period, but the data shows it was overtaken by retail and healthcare by the end. Additionally, the description of the retail sector mentions 'a quarter of the total,' which is not supported by the provided graph. To improve, ensure all data interpretations are strictly based on the visual evidence provided.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is logically organized into paragraphs, with a clear introduction, overview, and body paragraphs. Cohesive devices such as 'Overall,' 'In contrast,' and 'Meanwhile' are used to guide the reader. However, some transitions are mechanical or slightly awkward, such as starting a sentence with 'While, the agriculture sector...' which is grammatically incomplete. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the different sectors, but the flow between sentences could be improved by using a wider variety of linking words to connect ideas more fluidly rather than relying on simple sentence structures.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, with terms like 'significant decline,' 'upward trend,' and 'accounted for' used correctly. There are some spelling errors, such as 'reatail,' and minor collocation issues, such as 'reached at 16 million of total' and 'represented the downward trend.' To reach a higher band, you should aim for more precise vocabulary to describe trends, such as 'fluctuated,' 'peaked,' or 'remained stable,' and ensure that prepositions are used accurately with numerical data.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical errors, such as 'the manufacturing had' (missing noun), 'it made up of around' (incorrect verb usage), and 'it experienced dropped' (incorrect verb form). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma placement. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of passive voice when describing data trends. Reducing these frequent minor errors will help improve the overall accuracy of your writing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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