Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-10
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graphs illustrate the number of jobs in in four different sectors of the us ecnomy manufacturing retail agriculture and health care between 1960 and 2020
over all manufacturing had the highest number of jobs at the beginning of the period but this figure declined considerably after reaching a peak in 1980 in contract employement in retail and healthcare increased substantially while agriculture experienced a gradual decline
In 1960 manufacturing accounted for approximately 15 million jobs making it largest sector this figure rose to a peak of 20 million in 1980 before failing to around 17 million in1980 and 15 million in 2000 eventually reaching approximately 16 million in 2020
Health care also showed strong growth rising from only 2 million jobs in 1960 to 5 million in 1980 and 11 million in 2000 by 2020 it had reached around 16 million jobs agriculture followed the opposite trend decreasing from approximately 6 million jobs in 1960 to just 2 million in 2020
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response covers all parts of the task by identifying the main trends and making relevant comparisons between the four sectors. You successfully highlight the peak of manufacturing and the contrasting growth in healthcare. However, the overview is slightly underdeveloped; while it mentions the main trends, it could be more precise regarding the relative positions of the sectors at the end of the period. Additionally, there is a factual error in the body paragraph where you state manufacturing fell to 17 million in 1980, which contradicts your earlier statement that it peaked in 1980. Ensuring data accuracy is crucial for a higher score.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. However, the lack of punctuation, particularly the absence of full stops and capital letters, makes the text difficult to follow and creates a 'run-on' effect. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'in contrast' (misspelled as 'in contract') and 'eventually', but the overall flow is hindered by the lack of sentence boundaries. To improve, you must use periods to separate distinct ideas and ensure that transition words are used accurately to guide the reader through the data.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'accounted for', 'gradual decline', and 'substantially'. However, there are several spelling errors, such as 'ecnomy' and 'employement', and the misuse of 'in contract' instead of 'in contrast'. These errors are frequent enough to distract the reader. To reach a higher band, focus on accurate spelling and using collocations more precisely. While you have enough vocabulary to convey the main points, the lack of precision and the recurring spelling mistakes limit the score.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response relies heavily on simple sentence structures. There is a significant lack of basic punctuation, such as capital letters at the start of sentences and full stops at the end. This makes the text appear as a series of fragmented thoughts rather than a cohesive academic report. While you attempt some complex structures, the pervasive lack of punctuation and capitalization errors significantly impacts the readability of the response. You need to focus on fundamental sentence construction, including proper subject-verb agreement and the consistent use of full stops to separate independent clauses.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.