Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-10
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
THE LINE GRAPH COMPARES THE NUMBER OF JOBS IN FOUR DIFFERENT SECTORS THAT ARE MANUFACTURING, RETAIL, AGRICULTURE AND HEALTHCARE OVER THE YEARS.
OVERALL, IT SHOWS THAT THE MAUFACTURING SECTOR WAS THE LEADING SECTOR OF THE ECONOMY IN THE US BETWEEN 1960 AND 2020, HOWEVER AGRICULTURE SECTOR WITNESSED A NOTABLE DROP AMONG ALL THE FOUR SECTORS OF THE ECONOMY IN THIS TIME SPAN.
MANUFACTURING SECTOR EXPERIENCED A RISE IN THE NUMBER OF JOBS FROM 15 MILLION TO 20 MILLION FROM 1960 TO 1980, WHILE THE NUMBER OF JOBS IN AGRICULTURE SECTOR DROP FROM 6 MILLION TO 2.5 MILLION IN THIS TIME PERIOD. MEANWHILE THERE WAS AN INCREASE IN NUMBER OF JOBS IN THE RETAIL SECTOR FROM 6 MILLION TO 10 MILLION AND THE HEALTHCARE SECTOR EXPERIENCED A SURGE OF 3 MILLION TO 5 MILLION IN NUMBER OF JOBS IN THIS TIME PERIOD.
FROM 1980 TO 2020, THERE WAS A SIGNIFICANT DECLINE IN ITS NUMBER IN THE MANUFACTURING SECTOR, REACHED 13 MILLION APPROXIMATELY, WHEREAS THERE WAS SHARP INCREASE IN ITS NUMBER IN RETAIL SECTOR AND HEALTHCARE SECTOR, WITH 16 MILLION IN 2020. BY CONTAST, THERE WAS A MARGINAL FLUCTUATION IN ITS NUMBER IN THE AGRICULTURE SECTOR FROM 1980 TO 2020.
TO CONCLUDE, MUFACTURING AND AGRICULTURE SECTOR SHOW DOWNWARD TREND IN NUMBERS, HOWEVER RETAIL AND HEALTHCARE SECTOR DEMONSTRATE UPWARD TRAJECTORY FOR THE NUMBER OF JOB.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
You have successfully identified the main trends and provided relevant data points to support your descriptions. The overview clearly highlights the contrasting trajectories of the sectors. However, there are some inaccuracies in data reporting; for instance, you state the manufacturing sector reached 13 million in 2020, whereas the graph shows it at approximately 12 million. Additionally, the statement that manufacturing was the leading sector throughout the entire period is slightly inaccurate, as retail and healthcare overtook it by the end of the period. To improve, ensure that data points are read precisely and that the overview reflects the final state of the graph as well as the initial trends.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5
The response is logically organized into clear paragraphs, moving from an introduction to an overview, followed by two body paragraphs and a conclusion. You use cohesive devices such as 'meanwhile', 'by contrast', and 'however' to link ideas. However, the use of referencing is occasionally unclear, such as 'decline in its number', where the pronoun 'its' does not clearly refer back to a specific noun. The flow is generally smooth, but some transitions feel slightly mechanical. Improving the variety of cohesive devices and ensuring clear antecedents for pronouns will help achieve a higher band score.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'notable drop', 'surge', 'significant decline', and 'upward trajectory'. There are some spelling errors, such as 'MAUFACTURING' and 'CONTAST', which are distracting. Additionally, the repetition of 'number of jobs' throughout the text limits the sophistication of your writing. To improve, try to use synonyms like 'employment figures', 'workforce levels', or 'job counts' to avoid repetition, and ensure careful proofreading to eliminate basic spelling mistakes.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0
You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical errors, such as 'agriculture sector drop' (should be 'dropped'), 'reached 13 million' (missing subject/verb connection), and 'show downward trend' (should be 'show a downward trend'). There are also issues with article usage and pluralization (e.g., 'in number of jobs' instead of 'in the number of jobs'). To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles, and ensure that your complex sentences are constructed with grammatical precision.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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