Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-10
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The line graph provides information regarding the number of occupations in four major sectors of the economy in the US from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, it is evident that the number of jobs in retail as well as agriculture increased over the 60-year period, while manufacturing and healthcare experience a declined. Notably, agriculture sector witness the most significantly growth throughout the period.
To begin with, the number of occupation in manufacturing was the highest at about 15 million in 1960, which steadily increased to around 20 million in 1980. Then, it followed a downward trend between 1980 and 2020, reached to roughly 13 million in 2020. In contrast, healthcare sector stood at about 2 million in 1960, which was the lowest in the beginning. Following this, it showed a sharp rise, ending up with 15 million in 2020.
In case of retail, this figure started at just above 5 million in 1960, which showed a rapidly increased from 1960 to 2020, reached at more than 15 million in the last year. Meanwhile, the figure for agriculture stood at approximately 5 million in 1960, which slightly to about 4 million in 1980, before showed a fluctuating pattern between 1960 and 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and identifies key trends. However, there are significant inaccuracies in the data reporting. For instance, you state that agriculture increased, whereas the graph shows a decline. You also mention that manufacturing experienced a decline, but the data shows it peaked in 1980 before falling, and your description of the healthcare sector's growth is accurate. The overview is present but contains factual errors regarding the trends of the sectors. To improve, ensure that you carefully cross-reference your summary with the visual data to avoid misinterpreting the direction of the trends.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is logically organized into paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. Cohesive devices such as 'To begin with', 'In contrast', and 'Meanwhile' are used to link ideas. However, the progression of information is sometimes hindered by the factual inaccuracies mentioned in the task achievement section. Additionally, some referencing is slightly mechanical. The paragraphing is appropriate, and the overall structure is clear, which helps the reader follow the intended argument despite the data errors.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'downward trend', 'fluctuating pattern', and 'major sectors'. However, there are several word-choice and collocation errors, such as 'experience a declined' (should be 'experienced a decline'), 'most significantly growth' (should be 'most significant growth'), and 'showed a rapidly increased' (should be 'showed a rapid increase'). These errors are noticeable but do not prevent the reader from understanding the main points. Expanding your range of collocations and focusing on word forms will help improve your score.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with verb tenses and word forms, such as 'agriculture sector witness' (should be 'witnessed') and 'before showed a fluctuating pattern' (should be 'before showing'). Some sentences are slightly awkward, such as 'reached to roughly 13 million', where the preposition 'to' is unnecessary. While the meaning is generally clear, the frequency of these errors limits the score. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and consistent tense usage will be beneficial.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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