Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-10
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph track the changes in total jobs in four economic sector in the US from 1960 to 2020.
Overall,it is clear that healthcare and retail experienced upward trends in job number.conversely, jobs in manufacturing and healthcare decline significantly over the end of the period.
To initiate with, in 1960 healthcare started as smallest employer , accounting for around 5 million jobs.However, it inclined dramatically and rise to top at 15 million jobs by 2020.Similarly, the Retail sector saw a steady growth trajectory. Beginning at 5 million jobs in 1960, it climbed steadily over 15 million positions at the end of the timeframe.
Moving further, Manufacturing was the leading sector in 1960, providing 15 million jobs in 1960.Although it grew significantly at 20 million jobs around 1980 . Afterwards,it was sharp declined to just 10 million by 2020. Meanwhile, the agriculture sector vegan with 5 million jobs in 1960 and steadily decreased at just 1 million jobs during the final decades.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all parts of the task by identifying the four sectors and describing their trends over the 60-year period. Key features are highlighted, such as the growth of healthcare and retail versus the decline in manufacturing and agriculture. However, there is a factual error in the summary: you stated that healthcare and manufacturing declined, whereas the graph shows manufacturing and agriculture declined. Additionally, the overview is slightly inaccurate regarding the trends. To improve, ensure that your summary accurately reflects the data presented in the graph and that your comparisons are precise. The main features are generally well-selected, but the accuracy of the data reporting needs more attention to reach a higher band.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. Cohesive devices such as 'conversely', 'similarly', and 'moving further' are used to link ideas. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical, and there are minor issues with punctuation and spacing, such as 'Overall,it' and 'However, it inclined'. The progression of ideas is generally clear, but the flow could be improved by refining the use of cohesive devices to make the relationships between the data points more seamless. Overall, the structure is sufficient to follow the argument, but it lacks the sophisticated control required for higher bands.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'upward trends', 'growth trajectory', and 'economic sector'. However, there are several instances of word-choice errors and spelling mistakes, such as 'vegan' instead of 'began' and 'decline' used incorrectly as a verb form ('jobs...decline'). These errors do not impede communication, but they do limit the precision of your writing. To improve, focus on using more varied and precise vocabulary to describe trends and ensure that your word forms (nouns vs. verbs) are used correctly in context.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you attempt to use complex sentences, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with verb tenses and subject-verb agreement, such as 'The line graph track' (should be 'tracks') and 'it was sharp declined' (should be 'it declined sharply'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with missing spaces after commas and periods. While these errors do not prevent the reader from understanding the main points, they occur frequently enough to impact the overall fluency and accuracy of the text. Focusing on consistent tense usage and proofreading for basic grammatical slips will help improve your score.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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