Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-10
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The provided line graph illustrates the number of jobs in four sectors pf the economy in US among four years from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, the number of the jobs in manufacturing sector made up the largest proportion. However, the agricultural economy remained at the lowest.
In 1960, the number of jobs in manufacturing sector were 15 millions which inclined to 20 millions in 1980 and fluctuated to 13 millions in 2020, still stayed at peak. Retail economy has the lowest number of jobs in 1960 at 6 millions which then rose to a16 millions in 2020.
Although, the figures of job in healthcare economy remained the least in 1960 but grew to the 16 millions in 2020. The number of the jobs in agriculture economy were the same as retail jobs in 1960 at 6 millions and faced decline in 2020. However, they remained same in 1980 and 2000 at 3 millions.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response covers the main features of the graph, but there are significant inaccuracies in data reporting. For example, you state that agriculture remained at the lowest, yet the graph shows agriculture declining to a point below others, and your description of the healthcare sector is confusingly phrased. Furthermore, the claim that manufacturing 'stayed at peak' in 2020 is factually incorrect based on the visual data provided. While you attempt to compare the sectors, the lack of precision in interpreting the trends and the misreading of specific data points prevent a higher score. To improve, ensure that your data points are accurately transcribed and that your summary reflects the actual trends shown in the graph.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which is a positive step. However, the logical progression is hindered by confusing sentence structures and inaccurate data comparisons. The use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and occasionally misused, such as the abrupt 'Although' at the start of the third paragraph, which does not function correctly as a conjunction here. Referencing is also inconsistent, making it difficult for the reader to follow the comparison between the four sectors over the sixty-year period. Improving the flow between sentences and ensuring that cohesive devices are used to link related ideas more naturally would enhance the coherence of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The range of vocabulary is limited and repetitive. You frequently use the word 'economy' incorrectly (e.g., 'retail economy' instead of 'retail sector'). There are also issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'inclined to 20 millions' and 'faced decline'. While the vocabulary is sufficient to convey the basic topic, it lacks the precision and flexibility required for higher bands. To improve, focus on learning sector-specific terminology and collocations related to describing trends, such as 'experienced a downward trend' or 'reached a peak of'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('the number of the jobs... were 15 millions'), incorrect article usage ('in US'), and awkward phrasing ('made up the largest proportion'). You rely mostly on simple sentence structures, and attempts at more complex sentences often contain errors. To improve, focus on mastering basic subject-verb agreement and the correct use of pluralisation with numbers. Proofreading for common errors like missing articles and incorrect verb forms will also help to increase your accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.