Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-10
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The line graph is depicting the data of jobs in multiple sectors like manufacturing, retails, agriculture and healthcare from 1960 to 2020.
In 1960, healthcare and manufacturing sectors were very opposite in terms of number of jobs, as former is present at below 5 million and later is showing highest jobs among all of the other sectors as 15 millions. After 2 decades, all of these departments showed progress in jobs except agriculture whateve the reason is. Therefore, manufacturing department showed its highest progress in the certain time period by touching the figure of 20 millions. Unexpectedly, it drop by 5 millions in next 20 years and agriculture still don't have any progress and continueing same performance till 2020. On the other side, healthcare and retail divisions are still increasing from start to end point and successful to touching the figure of above 15 millions and joined each other here.
Finally, it is worth to say 2 of the departments are gradually increasing while other 2 departments are decreasing.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response covers the main features of the graph, identifying the trends for the four sectors. However, the analysis is somewhat superficial and lacks precision in reporting data points. For instance, stating that sectors are 'very opposite' is vague, and the description of the trends is occasionally inaccurate, such as claiming all sectors showed progress except agriculture, when the graph shows manufacturing declining significantly after 1980. The overview provided in the final sentence is a bit simplistic. To reach a higher band, you should focus on grouping the data more logically and ensuring that the descriptions of trends accurately reflect the visual data provided.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the flow between ideas is somewhat mechanical. The use of cohesive devices is limited and occasionally awkward, such as 'whateve the reason is' or 'on the other side'. The referencing is sometimes unclear, making it difficult for the reader to follow the progression of the argument. While there is a basic structure, the logical connection between sentences could be improved by using a wider range of linking words and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear, unified focus.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks the precision and variety expected at higher levels. There are several instances of awkward word choice, such as 'departments' instead of 'sectors' or 'divisions', and 'touching the figure of' which is repetitive. Some phrases are non-standard, such as 'successful to touching'. To improve, you should aim to use more academic collocations and synonyms to describe trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', or 'remained stagnant', rather than relying on basic verbs like 'showed' or 'increasing'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('it drop by', 'agriculture still don't have'), incorrect tense usage ('continueing same performance'), and awkward phrasing ('as former is present at below 5 million'). Punctuation is generally functional, but the overall control of complex structures is inconsistent. Focusing on basic grammatical accuracy and proofreading for subject-verb agreement would significantly enhance the quality of your writing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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