Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-10
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line chart illustrates how many people were employed in millions in four major economic sectors in the US.
Overall, Manufacturing had the highest employees before it declined, However, both retail and agriculture had steady growth over the period although, agriculture department faced continuous downward trend through out the period.
The manufacturing was the highest employer in 1960 with roughly 15 million working people and their number increased to 20 million in 1980, After that, their growth stopped and started to declined the next forty years reaching approximately 14 million in 2020. On the other hand, Ratail and Healthcare had steady growth reaching 16 million people employed roughly in 2020. Healthcare had the dramatic growth over the period from 1960 to 2020 increasing in eightfolds.
Agriculture departments who had 6 million working citizens in 1960 saw continuous downward trend and reched 4 million in 1980 and then remain plateaued for next 20 years and after that plummeted again to reach 3 million working people in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and identifies key trends, such as the peak and decline of manufacturing and the growth of healthcare. However, there are some inaccuracies in the data reporting. For example, you state that retail and healthcare reached 16 million in 2020, but the graph shows them at different levels. Additionally, the claim that healthcare increased eightfold is not supported by the data provided. While you have selected the main features, the analysis lacks precision in referencing the specific figures, which is essential for a higher band score in Task 1.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs. You use some cohesive devices like 'Overall', 'On the other hand', and 'After that' to link ideas. However, the flow is occasionally hindered by awkward phrasing and punctuation errors, such as the comma splice in the second sentence ('...declined, However, both...'). The transition between sentences is sometimes mechanical, and the referencing of the sectors could be smoother to improve the overall progression of the report.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'economic sectors', 'downward trend', and 'plummeted'. However, there are several word-choice errors and spelling mistakes that detract from the quality, such as 'Ratail' (Retail), 'reched' (reached), and the misuse of 'department' to refer to economic sectors. While you attempt to use more sophisticated vocabulary, the inaccuracies in spelling and collocation limit the score. To improve, focus on using sector-specific terminology correctly and ensuring accurate spelling of key terms.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are frequent grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues ('Manufacturing had the highest employees') and tense inconsistencies. Punctuation is also problematic, with several instances of incorrect comma usage and run-on sentences. While the meaning is generally clear, these persistent errors in basic grammar and sentence construction prevent the writing from reaching a higher band. Focusing on proofreading for subject-verb agreement and correct sentence boundaries would significantly improve your accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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