Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-10

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The line graph gives information about the number of jobs across four sectors: Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture, and Healthcare in the economy of the United States from 1960 to 2020. Units are measured in millions.

Overall, the Retail sector showed a steady but significant rise over the period, while the Manufacturing sector experienced a downward trend.

To begin with, regarding manufacturing, in 1960 it stood at 15 million. Then, it rose sharply to 20 million in 1980. After that, it fell steadily to 17 million in 2000. Finally, it declined slightly to 13 million in 2020. Moving to retail, in 1960 it stood at 6 million. Then, it soared steadily to 10 million in 1980. After that, it climbed further to 15 million in 2000. Finally, it grew gradually to 16 million in 2020.

Turning to healthcare, in 1960 it stood at 2 million. Then, it increased marginally to 5 million in 1980. After that, it rose sharply to 11 million in 2000. Finally, it went up dramatically to 16 million in 2020. Regarding agriculture, in 1960 it stood at 6 million. Then, it dropped considerably to 3 million in 1980. After that, it remained stable at 3 million in 2000. Finally, it dipped modestly to 2 million in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response effectively identifies the main trends and provides a clear overview. You have selected key features for all four sectors and made relevant comparisons. The data is accurately reported, and the summary of the overall trends in the second paragraph is well-executed. To reach a higher band, ensure that you group information more analytically rather than just listing data point by point. For example, contrasting the growth sectors (Retail and Healthcare) against the declining ones (Manufacturing and Agriculture) would demonstrate a more sophisticated approach to data synthesis.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, overview, and body paragraphs dedicated to specific sectors. The progression of ideas is easy to follow. You use cohesive devices such as 'To begin with', 'Moving to', and 'Turning to' to transition between sections. However, the structure within the paragraphs is somewhat repetitive, relying heavily on a mechanical 'Then... After that... Finally' sequence. Using a wider variety of cohesive links and varying the sentence structure would improve the flow and make the writing feel less formulaic.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey the information clearly. Phrases like 'rose sharply', 'declined slightly', and 'soared steadily' are appropriate for describing trends in a graph. There is some repetition of basic verbs like 'stood at' and 'increased'. To improve, try to incorporate more varied synonyms for change, such as 'fluctuated', 'plateaued', or 'surged'. The vocabulary is accurate and fits the context well, but it lacks the level of sophistication required for the highest bands.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

The writing is generally accurate, and there are no significant errors that impede communication. You use a mix of simple and complex sentences, though the sentence structures are somewhat uniform. Most sentences follow a similar pattern of 'Subject + verb + data + time'. To achieve a higher score, try to integrate more complex grammatical structures, such as participial phrases (e.g., 'Starting at 15 million in 1960, the manufacturing sector...') or relative clauses, to add variety and demonstrate greater control over complex syntax.

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