Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-10

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph gives information about the number of jobs in across four sectors: Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture and Helathcare og the economy in the United States from 1960 to 2020. Units are measured in millions.

Overall, the economy of Retail showed a steady but significant rise over the period, while the economy of Manafucturing experienced a downward trend.

To begin with, regarding manufacturing, in 1960 it stood at 15 million. Then, it rose sharply to 20 million in 1980. After that, it fell steadily to 17 million in 2000. Finally, it declined slightly to 13 million in 2020. Moving to retail, in 1960 it stood at 6 million. Then, it soared steadily to 10 million in 1980. After that, it climbed further to 15 million in 2000. Finally, it grew gradually to 16 million in 2020.

Turning to healthcare, in 1960 it stood at 2 million. Then, it increased marginally to 5 million in 1980. After that, it rose sharply to 11 million in 2000. Finally, went up dramatically to 16 million in 2020. Regarding agriculture, in 1960 it stood at 6 million. Then, it dropped considerably to 3 million in 1980. After that, it remained stable at 3 million in 2000. Finally, it dipped modestly to 2 million in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response covers all four sectors and provides a clear overview of the main trends. You have successfully identified the key features, such as the rise in retail and healthcare and the decline in manufacturing and agriculture. The data is accurately reported, and comparisons are made between the sectors. To reach a higher band, ensure that the overview is more integrated; for example, you could highlight that by 2020, healthcare and retail had become the dominant sectors, surpassing the others. The information is well-selected and relevant to the task requirements.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organised with a clear introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs dedicated to specific sectors. The use of cohesive devices such as 'To begin with', 'Moving to', and 'Turning to' helps guide the reader through the data. However, the structure within the paragraphs is somewhat repetitive, relying heavily on a 'Then... After that... Finally' sequence. To improve, try to vary your linking phrases and combine sentences to show relationships between the data points more fluidly rather than just listing them chronologically.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You have a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey the trends accurately, using terms like 'rose sharply', 'declined slightly', and 'soared steadily'. There are, however, some spelling errors ('Helathcare', 'og', 'Manafucturing') which are distracting. While these do not impede communication, they prevent the score from being higher. To improve, focus on proofreading for these minor slips and try to incorporate more sophisticated collocations to describe the data, such as 'a significant contraction' or 'a period of sustained growth'.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. Most of your sentences are clear and grammatically sound. There are minor errors, such as 'in across four sectors' and 'the economy of Retail', which are slightly unnatural. While you demonstrate control over basic structures, the range of complex grammatical forms is somewhat limited. To achieve a higher band, try to incorporate more varied sentence structures, such as using participle clauses (e.g., 'Starting at 15 million in 1960, manufacturing rose...') to improve the flow and complexity of your writing.

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