Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-10
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The line graph delineates the number of employment in four different sectors namely manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare sector jobs in millions between 1960 and 2020 in the UK
From a cursory glance, it is manifest that the the number of jobs in retail and agriculture escalated on the other hand manufacturing and healthcare sectors dwindled in the given period of time. Moreover, highest number of jobs were witnessed in manufacturing sector and the lowest in healthcare sector.
Having a myopic look, it is vivid that manufacturing sector was at 15 millions jobs in 1960 then it escalated to 20 million in 1980 and by the time it it was diped down to 12 million in 2000. After that, retail was at aproximatly at 6 million in 1960
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0
The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, which significantly impacts the ability to fully address the task. While you have identified the main features, the analysis is incomplete and stops abruptly. The overview provided is somewhat contradictory to the data, and the description of trends is insufficient. To improve, ensure you provide a comprehensive summary of all four sectors across the entire time period. The failure to complete the report means that the task is only partially addressed, leading to a lower score in this criterion.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the progression of ideas is interrupted by the incomplete nature of the text. Cohesive devices such as 'moreover' and 'on the other hand' are used, but their effectiveness is limited by the lack of a coherent structure in the body paragraphs. The abrupt ending makes it difficult to assess the overall flow of the response. To improve, focus on linking your sentences more fluidly and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear, developed focus that leads logically into the next.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
You have attempted to use some academic vocabulary, such as 'delineates', 'manifest', and 'escalated'. However, there are issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'number of employment' (should be 'employment levels' or 'number of jobs') and 'myopic look' (which is not appropriate in this context). There are also spelling errors like 'aproximatly' and 'diped'. To improve, focus on using vocabulary that is natural and precise for describing data trends, and ensure you proofread for basic spelling accuracy.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains several grammatical errors that hinder clarity. Examples include 'the the number', 'it it was diped', and 'at 15 millions jobs'. The sentence structures are relatively simple, and the errors in subject-verb agreement and preposition usage are frequent. To reach a higher band, you need to demonstrate a wider range of complex sentence structures and improve your control over basic grammar, such as pluralisation and verb tense consistency. Proofreading for these recurring errors is essential.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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