Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-11
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph illustrates the data on employments in millions across the four sectors including manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare in US from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, there is a significant increase in heath-care and retail sectors throughout the period. While a small number of individuals has joined the agricultural department. Minimal fall in employments in manufacturing department.
In 1960, the number of jobs fell at 15 million, which grew to 20 million in 1980, making it to highest ranked sector but it continued to decline almost up-to 13 million in 2020. However, the retail sectors have job vacancies near to 6 million in 1960 which increased continuously up to 2000 and went on 15 million in 2020.
Additionally, in the agricultural department the employments remained at the lowest of all other sectors, starting from almost just 6 million in 1960 and ending on almost 2 million in 2020. A tremendous increase is seen in the healthcare department relying on just almost 2 million, it rose up to 10 million in 2000 and almost stayed at 15 million in the year of 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and identifies key trends such as the growth in healthcare and the decline in agriculture. However, there are inaccuracies in data interpretation. For instance, the text states that agriculture 'joined' the sector and that there was a 'small number of individuals' involved, whereas the graph shows a decline from 6 million to 2 million. Additionally, the description of the manufacturing sector's peak is slightly confusing. To reach a higher band, ensure that data points are cited accurately and that the overview clearly highlights the most significant trends without factual errors.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. Cohesive devices such as 'Overall', 'However', and 'Additionally' are used to link ideas. However, the progression within paragraphs is sometimes mechanical, and the referencing is occasionally unclear, such as the transition between the manufacturing data and the retail data. The use of cohesive devices is sufficient to maintain a clear flow, but the logical connection between sentences could be improved to achieve a more natural, sophisticated structure.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, with terms like 'illustrates', 'significant increase', and 'tremendous increase'. However, there are some awkward collocations and word choice errors, such as 'agricultural department' (instead of 'sector') and 'fell at 15 million' (instead of 'started at'). The phrase 'making it to highest ranked sector' is also grammatically and lexically imprecise. While the range is sufficient to convey the main points, more precise terminology related to data description would improve the score.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'employments in millions' (should be 'employment in millions'), 'heath-care' (spelling), and 'relying on just almost 2 million' (awkward phrasing). Subject-verb agreement and preposition usage are occasionally inconsistent. While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher band. Focusing on sentence variety and proofreading for basic grammatical slips would be beneficial.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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